I feel great today! I’m still a little sick with a sore throat, but I have slept well these last 2 nights and it has made all the difference.
I went to my Al-Anon meeting at Noon today and there was a great speaker, someone I have always admired in the group.
I realized while I was there that nothing anyone says or does can diminish me. It doesn’t matter if I pay $10,000 or $30,000 for a piece of paper that says I am divorced. It doesn’t matter what choices my husband makes.
There’s a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that I have always loved. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” No one can make you feel bad either. Or make you feel anything. I have wasted way too long giving other people power over me. I am done.
I am not willing to let go of my children, even for 5 minutes. I am not going to put them through a nasty custody battle. I’ve seen it happen too many times. It’s a waste of energy. It will hurt them. I know I have a clear case but at the end of the day, will it really matter who is right and who is wrong? Will anything really be different?
The only thing that matters is my children.
And, my own happiness. And I’m going to grab it – whether anyone likes it or not. My husband is just going to accept it. Things are going to be different.
He asked again about coming home last night. I said, why don’t we just have an open marriage?
He didn’t like that idea too much. I said, what’s the difference, essentially we already have one?
He said he didn’t want to share me. LOL, the hypocrisy in all that amazes me, but not really.
He is who he is. Whatever. There is no getting away from him. He is the kids’ dad. There are parts of him that amuse me, parts that I love even. Even when we are separated, he is still there. Even if we divorce, he is still going to be there. So are his family, even in this weird arrangement that we have. They all will still be there. So I am just going to have to find a way to deal with it. And, be happy. Because God Damn It, I am going to be happy. It’s been a long time coming.
I have used that quote a thousand times with my own children, just as a reminder to them, something to keep always at the forefront of their brains.. It's one of my favorite, favorite quotes and absolutely true! Kudos!
ReplyDeleteIt's true. The one good thing I learned from my step mom is she told me when I was a teenager that not everyone is going to like me...very similar in a lot of ways to that quote. Very empowering.
ReplyDeleteAnd another thing I tell my kids, family members, friends when they tell me that so n' so did this to them or that... I tell them, YOU teach people how to treat you. If you allow them ONCE to treat you disrespectfully YOU have taught them that it's okay.. Like I tell my kids, especially my daughter, IT IS NEVER OKAY, DO NOT LET SOMEONE SLIDE, BOYFRIEND, BEST FRIEND, HUSBAND - IT'S NOT OKAY.
ReplyDelete