Going to AA

Two things have stayed in my head from yesterday's Alanon meeting.

The first was a story the speaker told about growing up in his alcoholic home and becoming a people pleaser. When he announced to his parents that he was gay, they refused to go to his college graduation. Not realizing he had any other choices, he just packed up all his things and went home. He did not even go to his own graduation.

I think I have held many of those same ideas in my own mind and it has ruined many special occasions for me. But what I am learning more and more is that it does not matter what choices the alcoholics (recovering or not) make around me. I can take care of myself and make my own choices.

The other was the idea of going to AA meetings. The speaker is not an alcoholic, but the first time he tried to go to an Alanon meeting, he ended up in an AA meeting instead. And being a people pleaser, he did not walk out of the meeting because he didn't want anyone to think he didn't like them. In any case, he talked about still going to AA meetings because realizing the struggles of these alcoholics made him feel more empathetic. Hearing the struggles they went through to get and stay sober made him realize that the alcoholics in his life were not all out to get him. They were just in pain.

I am really grateful for the Alanon program. I think one of the most empowering things about it is the idea of just listening to people without judgement. There is a safe place to share without everyone trying to solve your problems.

In any case, I was especially grateful for yesterday's meeting and the man who shared his story. I learned a lot from him.