Last night, I pulled out my 4th Step workbook and worked through that for a while. I was pretty distraught yesterday, and I woke up feeling lighter.
That said, it only took a few hours and my husband called. I could feel all the life drain out of me.
I’m exhausted. I keep waking up earlier and earlier and maybe that’s good, because those early hours seem to be when I feel best and no one can get to me.
It seems like if I could get just a little break from my husband, I might feel better. I might be able to release some things.
But right now, with his incessant calling and texting, every little thing is driving me nuts.
I’m trying to bring some of the lightness back into my days. Spending time with the kids, reading, exercising – doing things that make me feel good.
It has become more challenging now because we have a lot of financial restrictions. But the kids and I have started to take picnics most days and they really love that.
I hate having to tell them we can’t afford things.
I feel like I’m ready for some big changes. I haven’t wanted to leave my job because this is all I’ve known for more than 10 years. But it seems like the time has come…
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It's so difficult when you feel like you're in a taffy pull.. You have the list of things you need to do, feel you should do, have to do and then there's the list of wants, whims and desires.
ReplyDeletePicnics are great! I used to take my kids to the park every day. We'd do the picnic, sometimes it was just snacks or I'd bring kites or frisbees, balls, gloves, sometimes it was just my camera and I'd tell the kids to find cool stuff to take pics of.. It's such a wonderful bonding opportunity.. It doesn't take the ever pressing financial burdens away but for a moment you and your kids feel free, if that makes sense.