Insanity

What is so hard about telling the truth?

My husband took our son to his first baseball game yesterday. Something seemed fishy so I asked him if anyone else was going. He said, well a lot of people are going to be there, it's a fundraiser for ALS.

Ah, so is your dad going to be there?

Oh, I'm not sure, he might be....

I told him I did not want our son around his dad. For a few days he told me he wasn't going to go and that he didn't want to upset anything further in our relationship.

But then, Sunday I got the feeling he was going to be there again....

So I said, point blank, I know you're dad is going to be there. He's not going to just get the tickets and suddenly not show up. And there's just all this back and forth BS with my husband where he's just being totally murky.

I should have just not let my son go. Honestly, I wanted him to have a good time and enjoy his first baseball game.

But I also can't take the chance of my father-in-law hurting him in any way.

I had told my husband I wanted him to have as little contact with him as possible.

Come to find out they all sat together the whole time and ate hot dogs together. And, worse yet, he left him alone with them several times.

It is increasingly clear that my husband lacks any sort of judgement at all and he is just completely unable to be honest about anything.

He has been promising me money again for days. But every day there is some excuse. Some reason why he can not get to the bank or give us anything. It's really sickening.

He says he has been working all the time. But where is the money to show for it? Certainly not with me.

Friday night I had dinner with a childhood friend and my sister. My husband was at the house "working" and accused me of going out on a date. I didn't bother to even really defend myself.

Same thing the next night. He was here all afternoon and could not believe that a friend who has also babysat our children was just coming to hang out. He made sure to stay until after she got here. Questioned me when I did my hair after getting out of the shower (LOL, don't I always do my hair? At least on some level?!). He kept asking if I was going out, even with the dinner I was making and a batch of Sangria sitting out on the counter.

Then he accused us of being lesbians and did this disgusting thing with his tongue he always does when he thinks he sees a lesbian. I told him to knock it off. If our son catches him doing that, and worse learns it, I will cut his balls off.

So he stayed around the house and did all these chores....LOL I can't tell you when the last time my husband did chores was. He talks about doing them all the time, but then he never seems to actually get around to doing them. But not on Saturday!! He was just so helpful!!! And then he says something like, you need anything else from me before I leave?

About an hour later, he comes back to the house, saying he forgot to leave some things of ours. As if we going to be going at it somehow in the kitchen at 7pm with the kids running all around us....

Earlier that day, he finally moved the desks out of the office. So I'm working on a fold up plastic table that we pull out for company when I invite too many people over for dinner. But at least he won't have an excuse to be here all the time, "working."

In any case, there was still no apology about his dad. He told me to "let go of the anger." He kept saying, "nothing happened today." Everything went fine. Perhaps not today while his dad is on his best behavior. But what about the next time? What about when my husband decides to leave him alone with him all day.

I'm tired of my son being used as bait for his dad's money. There is nothing in the world I would barter my children for. And I can tell you this: If his dad didn't have any money, no parent in the world would leave their kids alone with him for 30 seconds based on his previous behavior. Not any sane parent anyway.