Flippin'

A friend called and joined us for dinner last night. We had a great time!
My husband had taken our son to see the new Transformers movie. I wondered about the timing, as he picked him up hours before the movie started. As it turned out, they went on a boat ride first. Which probably would have been fine if he had mentioned it. And if the guy driving the boat were not a very active drinker. I asked my son if he wore a life jacket, and he said he did. So at least there's that. But I am just a very cautious person, especially when it comes to my children. I would have wanted to make sure there was no drinking involved first.

Which brings me back to a few things. My husband doesn't tell the truth and I often catch him. Why couldn't he have mentioned the boat ride upfront? I knew something was going on with the timing of things before he left. I had already told him the later show time didn't work. But by the time we were done arguing about money I was just too exhausted and I realized it just didn't matter to me that much. He also told me he was held up because he was showing the condo. I reminded him that the condo is listed with a Realtor, and that's why we pay 6% - so they can show it!!

Honesty seems to be a foreign language my husband just can't catch on to.

He also still has the same friends, who are heavy drinkers. He brought up another name in the car yesterday. And I just feel like, why are you still hanging around these people? I like many of them too, but I wouldn't spend time with them if I was trying to stay sober.

sustained sobriety depends on ending unhealthy relationships and choosing to be in healthy relationships with those who share your intentions and new lifestyle. Who you allow into the circle of your life will make the difference in the quality of your life.

More often than not, the recovering person's circle of friends can mean the difference between failure and success. The old expression "water seeks its own level" aptly describes what can happen to a person fresh out of rehab.
-The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure (258-259)

In my Alanon meeting on Friday, one of the women was talking about watching what someone does as opposed to what they say. This has been a tricky one for me personally. I always want to believe the best in people, even when its just not there.

Another friend pointed out that my husband has the alcoholic ruddy cheeks and tight beer gut. Our daughter asked him yesterday why his stomach was so big. He certainly has not been looking well, and I have noticed that. But it's hard to think that we could be here again, even with all the signs.

The last thing is just how he has responded to me. Yesterday, he flipped out. And I don't know any husband's that flip the way he does when I ask about money to pay the bills. He stomped around and left me a $400 check, slamming the door when he left.