The Promissory Note

We had a nice evening as a family last night. We went to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and then to the movie theatre next door. My husband took my son to one movie, and I took my daughter to see Up!. It was really a touching movie and I highly recommend it to anyone. It's a kids movie, but it really says a lot about what is important in life. I think it's good for kids to see something that is not all about a happy ending too. This movie shows an old man's entire life - and there were a lot of ups and downs. I left the theatre in tears. (good ones!)

The only thing that soiled our evening was when we picked my husband up at his condo, he brought a promissory note for me to sign. I guess he talked to his dad earlier and borrowed some more money. In any case, his dad said that he thought I should sign the note too, and my husband brought it along for me to do so. I am not remotely interested in signing it.

First of all, it's a very generic note with all sorts of blank space. Most important, it is for $44,000 and does not specify anything. I asked my husband what the amount entailed, and he never really gave me an answer. I told him, if this is all in the name of letting me know what is going on, as your dad said, then why isn't there a list of what this number is made up of?

I am aware that my husband has borrowed money from his father. But I have always considered that their deal. Just like I had to borrow from credit cards, which are now in my name, when he was drinking and not working for a year in order to take care of the kids.

We have already rolled in his first rehab (since we were together) into our mortgage. I am not interested in rolling any part of Betty Ford debt into my name. As far as I am concerned, his father should pay for all of that because it was his carelessness as a father that brought him there.

My husband says if I don't sign the note, his father won't help us financially anymore. Well, I have never wanted his dad to help us financially. I haven't. That's not how I want to live my life - with his dad right there telling us what to do because he loaned us some money.

I know we're in a bad spot, and my husband seems to be working out of it. But signing that note seems as arbitrary to me as asking my father-in-law's wife to sign something saying she won't be fake anymore.

I don't have $44,000. I mostly stay at home with 2 little kids. My income is severely limited at this point, and anything I do make is used to pay off our other debt.

When we dropped my husband off, he took the note with him. But it doesn't sound like the issue is dead to me either.