I came across one of my old journals today from when my son was a baby. I only read a few entries toward the end but I definitely will go back to it. People can talk about holding grudges but there is also just plain common sense. The things I went through then amazed me. If it were my sister or a friend or a daughter going through what I did, I would have told her to run. Fast.
It is funny how we just plain forget things. That seems to be easier than forgiving them. And my husband and his family have told me that I am judgemental - but reading these entries made me think I wasn't judgemental enough upfront. Womenintheraw made in interesting comment a few days ago about how we teach people how to treat us upfront. The question is, 7 years later, can anything change, or is it just too late?
We can only change ourselves. It's never too late to teach people how to treat you. It really is very simple. They disrespect you, say hateful things, treat you as tho you're an idiot. You smile and walk away. It's difficult to disrespect the shadow where a person once stood. They'll get the message or they won't, what's important is that you have disengaged. You've taken yourself out of the game because YOU choose to no longer participate. And you may have to stop them mid sentence and tell them, "you treat me with disrespect, this conversation is over." If THEY don't change THEIR tune, hang up or walk away.
ReplyDeleteIt's never, never too late Sula. It's difficult but try, try, try to stay in this moment. In this moment you will not be disrespected, you will not be talked down to, you will not be made to feel less than. I promise you, life is too short to be wasted on negativity.
Thanks - I liked your comment a lot - all of them have really been great - I appreciate you!
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