Two Sides

I was in no mood to go to church this morning, but I decided to go anyway and I'm glad I did. My daughter still won't go to Sunday School so she sat by me the entire service, which went a little long today. Nonetheless, I left feeling much better than when I walked in. There are some great service projects going on there and I'm very excited to get my kids involved.

I feel like there are two very distinct sides to me. On one hand, language is everything and I am very careful with my speech, especially around my kids. This comes from my dad's side of the family.

On the other side, when I'm angry with my husband and his family there seems no better way to express myself than to cuss it out on the computer. I get this from my mom's side of the family. I have to say that I don't think any less of them for it. They swear, but it really doesn't mean anything. The cussing is just built into their speech. They are kind hearted people and they don't belittle people with language like my husband's family does.

So, I don't know how to reconcile the two, or even if I ever can. I do have a very spiritual side to me, and I hope that I can always remain true to that. But I also want to be real and not have to sensor myself.