A Poem for my Children

I found a poem I wrote a couple years ago, and it is frightening how nothing has changed.


I want to hold you forever in the warmest blanket-
And protect you
And avoid the pain I know is sure to come
I could tell you it will be ok
But that may be a lie
I don't know if your dad will ever get sober
And I don't know if I can ever forgive him-
Even for you.

So for now I just want to hold you here in this blanket and love you-
And hope that you don't see me crying
And grieving
I want to forget the life that I planned for you
Because it hurts too much even to dream, for now.

Oh my darlings, how sorry I am for you
My heart has broken for all of us
And I don't know how to fix it.