Monday, July 13, 2009


The camping weekend did go fairly well until the ride home. My husband had wanted me to sit next to him on the way there, but I was tired and lay on the bed in the back. I also did not want to get into it with him and start the trip that way. He was disappointed but I think it was better. I wasn't as smart on the way home, and gave in. Almost as soon as I sat next to him, it started.

He is supposed to be out of the condo today, but I had not heard anything about it. So I asked him where he was moving to.

Then came what I sort of expected. He had not made any plans yet. He basically assumed that he could just move back home and after a wonderful weekend together, and that I would be OK with it.

I am not.

I told him that, and it just escalated from there.

I realize that our finances stink. But he is the cause of that. And I told him again, this is cause and effect. He told me he did not need my permission, that he could just move back into his house.

He started to get violently angry, yelling and waving his arms around. At one point his fist came so close to my face, I thought he would hit me. I screamed back and told him he better watch out. I said it is apparent that now that you realize that you are not going to get your way, the real you comes out.

They all seem to forget that I BOUGHT THIS HOUSE. I bought it completely on my own with my income, my money, my everything before I gave all of that up so I could raise my kids. My husband was not even on the title when the home was purchased. I was stupid. I put him on the title. I thought things would work out between us and Oregon is not a community property state. And then we borrowed more money and rolled his debt from the first rehab (while we were together) into the mortgage.

I was STUPID. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My biggest mistake has been trusting him, and his family. That is the biggest mistake of my life.

He has other options, such as living into his parents house, which would be free. Their entire lower level is unused and is the same size as their upstairs. He also could pursue less expensive options, like renting a room for $200-300 a month, instead of spending $1500 or more. But he has champagne tastes and he would never consider doing something like that.

No, instead, he and his family EXPECT me to take the brunt of everything AGAIN, to take the high road like I always have. And I just don't want to. And I don't have time to sit and argue with either one of them about it all day, which is what I assume they will try to do. So PHONE OFF. They can figure it out.


  1. I lived with an alcoholic for 10 years. No one understands what you put up with....except someone who has been through it. I commend you for trying to keep your family together.

  2. Thank you Cathy. I appreciate that!