Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Why?

My son had no school today so we spent the day together. We dropped my daughter off at school and headed to his dentist appointment. Afterwards, I needed to fill out a quick document at my office so we stopped by there.

My son has been coming to my office since he was a 1-year-old. Everyone there adores him. Many of the men in my office actually keep candy in their desks for both my kids (but especially my son, who always makes a request for it!).

Today, I was filling out my form and my son was wondering down the hall getting water. I didn't worry about it because he's been there a million times and he knows everyone there. I recently moved my office from the third floor to the second floor, so it was a slightly different spot than he was used to, but never-the-less, he is nearly 7 and I thought it was familiar turf.

Suddenly, I heard him crying and saw him walking with one of my co-workers down the hall looking for me. He sobbed for nearly 7 minutes, which seemed very different for him. I wondered what could be wrong, but just thought he was being especially sensitive.

One of my other co-workers offered him one of her homemade cupcakes, and all was well again. We went down the hall to see his favorite, "Uncle Mo-Mo" before we left. He gave him a giant hug and a Hershey's Bar. He learned a new handshake from his Uncle Rick before we left.

I went on to my chiropractor appointment, and then off to lunch. He asked if we could stop at a park that he loves, so we did. There are very few days where we have such freedom in our schedules.

We got there and the park was empty. I was disappointed for him because he is very social and enjoys being with other children so much. But he was still thrilled to be there, and it was a beautiful day in our usually rainy city.

Right as he was running up, one of the mother's that we knew from his previous school drove up. She got out with her two daughters. We had run into them earlier at my daughter's school, and I was thrilled to see them again. I have become very close to them over the last year. Then another mother pulled up with her two children. I've known her for several years and was glad to have some time with her as well.

As the children were playing, they asked how things were with my husband and we began to talk about his family. They were puzzled as to why my husband still wants the children to be around his father.

And then I had my "Aha Moment". We talked about earlier in the day when my son had freaked out for no apparent reason at my office.

One of the mother's thought that it was a recall of when my father-in-law left him at the mall.

In case you didn't read the earlier post, here is what happened:

When my son was 2, we allowed him to go to a local mall with his grandpa for an outing. It is a mall in a more questionable part of town where you wouldn't exactly want your children roaming free.

My father-in-law decided that my son was not listening to him well enough. So he let him wander up ahead of him by himself until he thought he was lost. My son started crying and getting upset, much like he did today.

When we met up with my father-in-law afterwards, he told us the story himself because he thought it was funny. It was sort of like, "I really showed him!! He's going to listen to me for now on."

I was like, HE IS TWO-YEARS-OLD you mother fucker. (I left out the mother fucker part, but I wish I had said it now.)

I still feel physically ill when I think about this, and after talking with the other mothers today, I feel ill again.

I told my husband and he said he hoped that was not the case. I told him they said that their kids remember certain things from that age (and so do I for that matter) and that they could see how that trauma would re-create itself today.

So back to the question....why does my husband want his father to be around our kids?

2 comments:

  1. Yeah, that's definitely on mo-fo of a father-in-law. UNBELIEVABLE!! Two years old??? And he pulled that shit? Who's the child here? I wish you could sever all ties with that man.

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