My company Christmas party is coming up soon. I had arranged to go with one of my female friends in the office since neither of us have dates. Some of the guys in my office were teasing me about going out with a group of people afterwards. I told them I would if someone else drives. I don't like drinking and driving.
One of them offered to pick me up at my house and I said, No way!! My husband has been following me. He won't admit to it, but he certainly seems to be there at odd times and snooping around.
Another guy jumped in and joked that he could just pretend to be the gardener (he's Mexican). Still another said that's bullshit. He better not start anything with me. I've seen him out. He proceeded to tell me about seeing my husband out with a tall, ugly, blond, who spilled her drink on him.
I can't believe what a hypocrite my husband is. Really it should be no surprise at this point. But nearly every day he tries to make me feel bad about the alleged lovers he thinks I've had since we've been apart. Now I see that he's just been trying to make himself feel better.
What was telling is that I am not jealous about him being with another woman. I'm mad about him being such a hypocrite and trying to make me feel bad.
And, I'm wondering what a "sober" guy is doing out at a bar with a woman that sounds like a lush.
I was married to an alcoholic, drug addicted, abusive man who cheated. He continually accused me of being unfaithful (I never was). I learned that someone who is so defensive almost always has something to hide. He threatened to kill himself if I ever left him. I left him and he's still alive 23 years later. Mind-fuckers want you to be in their space and will say and do almost anything to get you there. I did not have children with this man so have no way of truly appreciating your struggles, but do know that you must protect yourself and your children. Be strong.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. One thing that I seem to see everywhere (Alanon meetings, blogs, etc) is that alcoholics have a very hard time taking ownership of anything. It's funny (and sad) how similar our stories are. God bless you in your journey.
ReplyDeleteI've learned that alcoholics are never at fault and won't take responsibility for their actions. It is always the other person's fault. Hang in there. You don't have to believe what he says. A quasi joke that I've heard is: How can you tell and alcoholic is lying? Watch his lips move.
ReplyDeleteSo true Syd!!!
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