Monday, May 3, 2010

I will survive on my own

Last night my son told me he thinks he knows what is going to happen now.

He said that he thinks I will get married to someone else.

I told him I did not want to get married again.

He asked me, then who will protect you?

I told him I would protect myself.

He told me that I needed to go get a Superman hat like the one my mom just bought him and wear it so that boys will like me.

I feel like I have failed him on some level as a feminist mother.

I did not think I had raised him with these values, but they are there. I'm really glad we got rid of the TV. Now that I think through it, there are very few role models for children of strong single women.

Nearly all the cartoons have a mother and father. I can't think of anything that doesn't have a mom and dad, married. Even in Up, a movie that I really loved, the boy was not fulfilled until another man took interest in him.

As we were driving to school this morning, he asked me to turn the stereo down. He said he heard something hit the car. When he got out, he took a tour around the car to make sure all the tires were OK before we drove off.

I don't want him to take on the job of my protector either. It is sweet, but he is only 7.

I need to work harder at showing him that I can survive on my own.


  1. Don't give up on love, Sula. I hope you are able to open your heart again. I finally have, and through my healing met a wonderful man who has done as much work on himself as I have. Never say never, God blesses when we least expect it.

  2. I believe in love. I just have other things on my mind now. Happy you found a good man Laurie.