Starting Over

I wish I could start my life over again.

I would do so many things different.

I did not sleep again last night. My husband had sat down with me and said that he would give me money on the 5th and the 20th so we would not have to argue about money anymore. Here it is the 13th and still nothing. Just broken promises every day. When I stated the obvious this morning he said, "Please try not to talk to me like that."

I wish I had never stopped working. I wish I had never married my husband. I wish I had not allowed our expenses to grow as they did. I wish I had never believed a word he said to me.

I am so tired of starting over. Especially starting over in the ditch. I see very little hope right now with anything.

I have a terrible headache and I am on edge. My kids sense that and they are whiney and irritable too. I hate the situation we are in. I haven't wanted to go back to work full-time because that is just one more thing my kids will have to deal with but it seems like that is the only option and even then there will not be enough money to cover our expenses.

But not to worry, I am sure that my father-in-law will always make sure that my fucking husband has everything HE needs. Me and the kids are just beneath those fucking people.