Monday, August 17, 2009

In Return...

I have a migraine. I am so completely stressed out and sick of all of this. My husband has been dragging out giving us money for bills for weeks and weeks. Every day it is going to be the next day. Tell that to the people who just draft money out of my account. Tell that to anyone we owe money to. Bills are due when they are due. Not when he can pull his act together.

This is no way to live.

I am so angry that I did not divorce him several years ago. Instead, I was an idiot and stuck by him through one more rehab and all the shit that has come out of these last several years.

And what for?

To live like this? To be so indebted and enstrangled?

What for?

This is what I get in return?

"Being good to somebody is just like being mean to somebody. Risky. You don't get nothing for it." - Toni Morrison, Sula

Ugh, I just want to scream.

What am I possibly supposed to be getting out of this relationship??

My husband keeps throwing it in my face that people stay married through thick and thin, good times and bad, for richer for poorer.

But people don't stay married to get shit all over, repeatedly.


  1. I was married for 19 years. Wish I'd left after the first one...I've been divorced for 13 now, and finally feel free after all this time. Take care of yourself.

  2. Recently came across your blog, and spent a day reading the archives. You are an amazing, brave, and down to earth woman. Keep talkin