Thursday, August 27, 2009
Today is my wedding anniversary. Like the night before my wedding, I did not sleep much last night.
I kept thinking back to that night, the Rehearsal Dinner, and the sleepless night that followed.
Sometimes as women, we fail to follow our gut, and it kills us.
My father-in-law is the same entitled, ego-maniac that he was then. And that night it came out in full force. And looking back, I wonder, why I failed to respond to that sign and took the easy way out.
The rehearsal dinner was a disaster. My father-in-law started ranting and raving because things were moving too slow for his taste.
If I could do it again, I would immediately ask him to stop when the complaining first started, before it became fervent.
Instead of waiting for my husband or my father (the 2 men sitting at our table of 6) to tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP, I would have done it myself.
We did not even oppen the Prosecco. My father-in-law wanted to go home. Looking back, we had the money then, and I wish I had told my in-laws to go home and paid the tab myself. I wish I would have stayed and toasted with our guests and enjoyed the evening to the fullest.
The next morning, when my father-in-law called to aplogize, I wish I had not taken his call. Or I wish I had not told him it was OK. His actions have never been OK.
Looking back, I wish I would have seen this night for what it was. A sign of things to come. On some level, I knew that, and that is what kept me up most of the night.
Family is everything to me, and I have a great one. But I should have realize that I could never be happy in this family. Family permeates everything else. And the same bad traits usually come out in your spouse at some point.