Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Broken Pieces

I attended a Traditional Jewish wedding on Sunday with my dear friend T. I had never been to a Jewish wedding and I thought it was both beautiful and very meaningful. There were several traditions that I really liked.

At the end of the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass. Here is one of many explanations I found on the Internet.

There are various interpretations of why we do this and where the breaking glass Jewish wedding tradition came from. Here are a few of the most popular explanations:

Temple: Breaking of the Jewish wedding glass is a reminder of the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem.

Superstitious: A loud noise is thought to drive away evil spirits.

Sadness/Joy: A reminder that even in times of great joy that there is sadness. That life will bring sadness as well as joy.

Hymen: A breaking of the glass represents symbolically the breaking of the hymen, and the consummation of the marriage.

Fragile: The glass symbolizes the love and relationship of the couple and is fragile, so it must be cared for and not broken. That sometimes a single thoughtless act, breech of trust, or infidelity can damage a marriage in ways that are very difficult to undo - just as it would be so difficult to undo the breaking of this glass. Knowing that this marriage is permanent, the bride and groom should strive to show each other the love and respect befitting their spouse and love of their life.

Broken World: A reminder that although the couple came together as a single union, the world as a whole is broken and needs mending.

Marriage is Forever: A broken Jewish wedding glass is forever changed, likewise, the couple are forever changed by the marriage and take on a new form.

Be Fruitful: A hope that your happiness will be as plentiful as the shards of glass…or that your children will be as plentiful as the shards of glass.

In jest, some explain that this is the last time the groom gets to "put his foot down."

It was a remarkable wedding and celebration and I was very glad to be there amongst so many dear friends.

I looked through my own wedding album with my daughter yesterday and many of the same wonderful friends were there celebrating with me on my day. It seems amazing that everyone looks so happy. So much has changed.

My son has lost his chubby cheeks. My grandpa has died. My great grandpa has died. My mom's husband has died. My Matron of Honor's father has died. Two of my sisters are divorced. My relationship with my in-laws is irreparably broken. My husband has relapsed multiple times. He doesn't even look like the same person. At our wedding he looks healthy. He has not looked healthy for a long time now.

I am trying to find some good shots of my wedding dress. I have been trying to sell it unsuccessfully on eBay for weeks now. I am trying to sell everything I can so we can get by until my income is steady and good enough to support all three of us.

It's funny the things that you hold onto and you think you can't do without for so long. I didn't ever think I would sell my wedding rings. I was so attached to those diamonds. But now I see that all these pretty things have cost me so much.

My daughter broke her Tiffany China plate I bought her as a baby a few weeks ago. It made me realize that even the things that we love, are sentimental about, that we cling to and don't want to let go of can be taken away in an instant. So it is better to realize that and just let go willingly. What are all these things if I can't take care of my children?


  1. Diamonds are over rated. =) Strip them down to their core, what are they? Rock.. Polished rock.. One of mine lies in the bottom of the Snake River and I never regret tossing it there..
    As the things you once charished make their way out the door think of it as being lost in a fire.. You have what is most important.. Your children.
    AND out with the old always, always means in with the new! All good things are heading your way Miss Sula!

  2. Yes, I am hoping so. :) Thanks!