I am not a whore, or a clown

Tonight we went to a live concert in our community as a family. My husband has been promising every day to give us some money to pay our bills, but every day there is some excuse why he can not. So today, once again, he did not. He deposited $500, which does not remotely begin to cover our bills. And obviously, he must have known earlier in the day that he would not meet his obligation, once again, but he did not bother to tell me. So I checked my balance and saw what he had deposited on his way over here. And I was not pleased. I am beyond not pleased.

He could support us, if he wanted to.

He just choses not to. And I am SO SICK of all his excuses.

So once he was here and he had not bothered to respond to my text about this issue, I lost it.

I don't understand it.

I will never understand it.

And as I told him, I have lost every last ounce of any last teeny bit of respect I ever had for him and his family.

He is feeling so sorry for himself because he is having to work and I don't "appreciate him enough". Um, where were you that year or two you took off and did absolutely nothing but drugs and drink and fuck women? And now you want me to feel sorry for you?

I told him to write his own blog and see how sorry people feel for him. I don't feel any sympathy for him anymore. None. I have wasted 7+ years feeling sorry for him. I feel sorry for my kids now. I should have felt sorry from them for the get-go, and not this lost-cause of a man who has shit all over us.

I asked him to leave and he refused. He pushed his way into the evening we had planned with another unsuspecting family. And since we are the "country club type" there was no issue what-so-ever while we were all together.

But make no mistake.

While I may have had a smile on my face, I was thinking that he was a rotten SOB.

He texted me today about my "boyfriend" and I responded that NO MAN is going to be fool enough to take on all his debt, SO DREAM ON!!

I think that is really his hope. To just whore me out. And like I have told him numerous times, if he and his dad thought that they could make an extra nickel out of whoring my daughter and I out, they would do it in an instant.

There is no doubt in my mind.

Because his family is just ALL about the money.

So, after my husband did not perceive that I was putting on a good enough show, he made some comment to me after dropping us off about me not giving him the right smile to get a deposit in my bank account tomorrow.

And I am sorry, but I am not going to play that game.

I am not a clown, or whore. And supporting your children and your family should not come down to any of that.