Monday, December 21, 2009

Anger


My husband just called me filled with anger. His dad chewed him out for an hour and a half for needing to borrow more money. Way to berate your son for not having the skills you were too drunk to teach him as a child.

I'm sick of taking the brunt of everything. If you're angry at your father, get pissy with him.

Part of the reasons we are in this mess is because his father backed out of paying our sons $2,000 a month tuition (for a school that was entirely his idea). Try keeping your word for once and see what happens!

The bigger reason is my husbands long relapse which has basically bankrupt us. I blame my father-in-law for that too. When you give your child alcohol and raise them in chaos there is a pretty major chance they will continue the cycle and become addicts.

Why my children and I need to suffer the consequences is beyond me.

My husband wants to come home but it's hard to imagine that happening with these frequent outbursts. I told him the other night I still remember him calling me nasty names and it will be hard to ever get that out of my mind.

"Ungrateful bitch" and "you miserable cunt" hardly describe the woman who has stood by his side after all of this and borne him two children.

2 comments:

  1. Sula, I've found that I don't want to blame anyone anymore. I believe what I've heard in Al-Anon that I didn't cause the disease, can't control it, and can't cure it. It was the alcoholic's choice to drink and to continue the behavior. My disease was that I enabled that behavior to continue.

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  2. I have felt pain from the disease of alcoholism. I'm finding serenity in Al-Anon.

    Kathy

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