Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Apparently my in laws are upset by a recent blog post to our family blog about my former in-laws. They told my husband that I seem to like this other family better than them.
Who wouldn't prefer kindness to dry drunks?
Who prefers cheap Indian-givers to generous people who would give anything or do anything for their family?
Who prefers being called poor and stupid to being loved and cherished?
Everything is always about them. Maybe they should realize that aside from their money, they have nothing to offer anyone. If they want people to truly "like" them, they should treat people decently.
Of course I prefer people who have never even tasted alcohol to people who drank away my husbands childhood.
When you are sober you can actually raise 7 amazing children very well, even in a war zone. It's not that hard. Just stay present and put the fucking bottle down.
My former in-laws had their house destroyed, faced constant death, had their son shot at in his school...I could go on and on. They had actual problems that they overcame - and managed to still be amazingly nice people.
(And, no, I do not consider having a lush life in the US and drinking too much to be an actual problem. It causes problems for other people. Addiction it is a chosen problem which the addict can change.)
I have thought through this and none of my former husband's family has ever had a problem with addiction. Not his parents, his 6 brothers and sisters, their children, aunts and uncles... You could go on and on. For the most part, no one has ever even tried alcohol. So this is a shout out to Muslim families. Complete abstinence works. And if you have a strong family it is possible that none of your seven children will be addicts of any sort. (Even after suffering immense hardships that would be hard to fathom in this country.)
Within days of arriving to Lebanon, H's grandma sat me on her lap and told me I love you just as much as I love H. You are now a daughter to me. All of his family treated me that way.
And they still do.
So, YES, I prefer my former in-laws. If you want me to like you better, treat me better!