Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Death in the Family

My husbands aunt just died. We are not sure when exactly as she was alone. One of her friends came to her house and found her dead. She called the police, who called my father-in-law.

I feel very sad that she died alone. That would never happen in my family. Before my grandpa died we were all there nonstop for the last 6 weeks. He had visitors from all over the country. People from church were there. It was tiring but rewarding. I can't imagine it any other way.

I last talked to her on Christmas morning. We called her and woke her up. She had been sleeping a lot and wasn't sure she would make dinner at our house. My last words to her were we love you.

I feel satisfied with that. I did what I could on my end and was always kind to her. She was one of the only people on his dad side that was ever nice to me. And I have always appreciated that about her.

Towards the end it got ugly. She was coming to our house because she was fighting with her other brother about money and her will. Her niece was acting strangely towards all of us. She usually went over there every year for Christmas, but she did not go this year because of the argument.

I told her several times that what she did with her will was her business and no one else should have a say in it. I find it very sad that her last 6 months were filled with so much fighting.

What for?

I had my son call my father-in-law to give him his condolences. I still don't want to talk to him and don't like how he has treated me, but I can't imagine how I would feel if one of my sisters died.

When he called back he made some smart remark to my son about how she was his aunt too and that he probably didn't get to see her very often (because of me). I always keep him on speaker because I never trust him to be on good behavior. I held my tongue.

What he said was not true. I have invited his aunt here many times. She doesn't show most of the time. I have done what I could do given my situation. I wish I could have done more, but I couldn't. My kids always come first. There are numerous people in his family that don't work that could have been there with her. But their priorities are golf, tennis and money. Not family.

Nevertheless I hope that she finds peace now. I hope they all do. This family has been fighting over money for far too long. It's time to realize that money means nothing.

As I always tell my kids, it's only paper. People are our treasures.

Rest in peace Aunt J.


  1. I'm sorry to hear about the lonely death of the aunt. I suppose that we all have to die on our own but it does seem sad to not have family around. It is best to have restraint of tongue around people who make unkind remarks. Nothing is accomplished by rising to their bait. Hope that you have a good New Year.

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  3. Oops, somehow I censored myself up there. :)
    Anyway, I've been trying not to take other people's inventories this Christmas. It sounds like you're thinking about that too. My thoughts are with you. :)