Monday, September 7, 2009


I had a dream about my in-laws last night. Just seeing them in a dream gets my heart rate up. We were all sitting down at a restaurant. My husband had not told me they were going to be there and I flipped out. It seemed very real to me. I have not seen my father-in-law with his wife there for 2 years now. I have no desire to see either of them again.

Today the kids and I are getting everything ready for school. My son has some homework to do and I have forms to fill out. I have been slowly going through the house and getting rid of junk. Today, I will go through both of the children's rooms with them.

We are trying to modify our mortgage through the new government program, but it doesn't seem to be much of a program. This process started in January, and no answer. Since I am a mortgage broker, I know this is not just my experience. Everyone I have referred to this program has still not been able to modify their mortgage. That is a pretty low success rate.

In any case, I am still hoping they can modify our mortgage and make it more affordable, someday soon. But if not, I am trying to get the house ready to sell.

It seems like I am on the cusp of a lot of different things. The kids are starting school, I am going back to work full-time, and on the verge of being divorced. I have a lot of anxiety about all of it. I just sleep in little segments, wake up and think some more. It will be nice when I get into the new routine and know how everything is going to come out. I worry my time with the children will be too little, especially with all these changes.


  1. You are where I was 13 years ago; it was hard, but in the end it all worked out. Take care of yourself.


  2. Just stumbled across your post by blog-hopping ... seems like a common story now. My life has been changed drastically in recent months too, and I now live alone in a cheaper place.
    Best wishes to you in what-ever path you choose!
    SpeedyCat from Minnesota

  3. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.