Thursday, September 10, 2009
Investing in Myself
I have a lot of driving time now with the new schedule. I got to thinking this morning about my life. I have spent a lot of time investing in other people, especially in men that I have been in relationships with.
When I met my first husband, English was his third language, after coming here from Africa (Lebanon originally). He was still learning English. I taught him to read in English, spending hours on one or two pages in the beginning. I helped him start several businesses. I helped him get through college and get his American citizenship. We took care of a baby that was not ours for about a year.
I don't have any regrets about any of this. I think he was a sound investment and I will always treasure his friendship. He has done well for himself and I am proud of him.
But that said, I wonder why I have felt that I am not worthy of investment in myself??
And, why have I invested over 7 years in a relationship with someone who has done nothing to make his life - or my life - better? I should have been investing in myself and in my children.
And I hope if nothing else comes out of this that that is the lesson I really learn. Because financially I am coming out out of this much worse than I came into it. And I think life, while it has it's twists and turns, should keep getting better and better; always moving up, not sideways, and certainly not down, down, down.
This has been a long detour.