Wednesday, February 3, 2010
It is mandatory for both parents to attend a "parenting class" to divorce in the county we live in. I'm all for being the best you can be in anything you do, but it is starting to hit a nerve.
For one, I have already read a very inclusive book, Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way, which I felt really helped me through this particular topic.
I have also been taking my son to counseling sessions nearly every week for the last 2 years. In that time, I have spent many hour-long one-on-one sessions with his counselor to help me to determine how to best parent both of my children through this separation and divorce - as well as living with my husband's addictions.
Secondly, I have the children 99% of the time. For me to go to a parenting class, I have to find someone to watch my children at the end of a long day (which is usually the most important part of our day in terms of eating dinner together, reading books, singing songs, bathing and all the other things that make up an important nightly ritual).
I thought my husband's attorney pulled a cheap shot in court yesterday when she made a point to tell the judge that I had not been to parenting class yet. First of all, I only was served the documents he filed 2 weeks ago for the divorce he filed for last June. My husband handed me off some documents in October, but has continually told me that he wants to try to work things out.
My husband's attorney failed to mention that my husband has drove drunk with our children in the car and has a felony conviction for cocaine that he left out in our home where our children play.
I suppose she had to come up with something that I have not done right these last 8 years.
My husband told me if I went to the parenting class I would know how important it is for him to spend time with the kids. Apparently, he needed to go to a class to find that out for himself.
I don't need a parenting class to tell me it's important to spend time with my kids. I've always believed that and I have always done it. I always hoped my husband would become more involved in their lives. But I have also felt the need to protect them.