Wednesday, February 3, 2010

My Case

My husband and I have been together almost 8 years and married for the last 4 and a half. We have been separated for the better part of 2 years.

My husband hired an attorney in June but has repeatedly told me that he wants to work this out and that he only filed so we could get marriage counseling.

I have always intended to stay in this marriage and raise our children together, as I have never believed divorce was good for children. That said, my husband was sober when we married and then relapsed, which has been completely disastrous for our entire family.

In December of 2008, I found cocaine in our home in the front closet where our then toddler daughter played. I called the police and he was arrested. He has a felony conviction for cocaine possession (Jan 2009). This initiated our initial separation.

My husband has been in rehab 2 times for total of over 5 months since 2004. His last visit was to Betty Ford 90 days in the Summer 2008

He has relapsed several times since then.

Says he is "in recovery" now but I don't trust him - do not want him driving around with my children.

He has previous DUI s and admitted to driving drunk with us in the car while he was at Betty Ford.

I also found that he had multiple affairs during our marriage in which he engaged in unprotected sex.

He stopped working for over a year after his relapse. His previous income was significant and we lived a very good lifestyle. We are struggling financially as a result and his dad has been heavily supplementing his income.

He had an OK year last year, but is starting to make very good money again.
I stopped working to care for 2 young children (3 & 6 now) - previously I also had good income, but mortgage market is also down and I have taken many years off. My husband is not giving us enough money to live on. I went back to work in September and am slowing working back up my income. But I am also fully responsible for kids 99% of the time so I am limited with what I can do. My primary “job” during our marriage was to be a homemaker. It is my desire to spend as much time with my children as possible so that they can grow up to be strong and healthy adults.

We have significant debt. We are currently trying to modify our mortgage loan.

I feel I am being forced into bankruptcy.

I believe that there are assets that my husband is hiding, but he has put me in a situation where I can barely take care of my children, let alone afford to hire an attorney.

My husband often doesn't keep his appointments with kids. Has rarely kept them overnight by himself or taken them to school. He is now saying he wants to take them overnight every other weekend - which I am no way OK with.

Our son has been in counseling 2 years.

I realize that my husband loves our children, but his actions towards myself, our children and our life as a family have often been hurtful and irrational.
I have made numerous personal sacrifices to stay in this marriage and have always tried to do the very best thing for my children, regardless of what the cost was to me. My husband and his father have done little but be hurtful and try to hide their financial resources.

It is not my intention to keep the children from their father. I realize he plays and important role in their life. But I am asking that you help me keep them safe until he has a longer-term sobriety, that is monitored by regular drug and alcohol testing.

I ask that you give me sole custody of the children, with short, weekly visits with their father as we have been doing since May.

I also ask that you award me temporary child support, alimony and money for an attorney so I can adequately defend myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment