Friday, April 17, 2009

Eating Books

Now that my youngest is a little older, I'm back to reading a lot again. My first husband used to say that I liked to eat books because I was always devouring books.

Beautiful Boy, by David Sheff, was especially touching. It's about a father who's son is addicted to Meth, among other things. "...this is a disease that affects families too...they don't sleep, don't eat, they become ill. They blame themselves. They feel rage, overwhelming worry, shame. Many people keep their suffering to themselves. If your had cancer, the support from your friends and family would flood in. because of the stigma of addiction, people often keep it quiet. Their friends and family may try to be supportive, but they may also communicate a subtle or unsubtle judgement."

This was really just a beautiful book. It was insightful and helpful, but also just so well-written and heart-wrenching at times. His son also has a book out called Tweak about his perspective, which is also very interesting and well-written. I read his book right after, and both were difficult to put down.

Sheff references another book that I also read - The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25-Year Landmark Study by Judith Wallerstein that I would also highly recommend. This is one of the most interesting books I've read in a very long time - and one I think anyone who comes from a divorced home, has been divorced or is contemplating a divorce should read. It is an eye-opener, for sure!I think that all of us make mistakes as parents, but since there is so much out there in terms of information now, I feel like we should try to learn as much as we can to be better and do better.

Another of Sheff's quotes that I really liked says, "No matter what we do, no matter how we agonize or obsess, we cannot choose for our children whether they live or die. It is a devastating realization, but also liberating. I finally chose life for myself. I chose the perilous but essential path that allows me to accept that Nic will decide for himself how and whether - he will live his life."

It reminded me of my favorite verse about children from The Prophet - and I like that Gibran ends with "For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable."

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