Wednesday, April 15, 2009

April 15th and No Taxes!

My husband brought the W-2 form home at 5 and went straight to playing poker on the computer. Meanwhile, I am trying to figure out how to file the State and Federal Tax Extensions, make dinner and take care of the children. My son yells down to me that daddy is playing poker and I say I KNOW!!, half laughing and half completely exasperated.

The husband yells back down, “No I’m not!! I'm working.”

Every time I go upstairs, he quickly changes his computer screen.

There is a message on the home machine from my father-in-law. He wants my son to call him. He had called several days ago, apparently, but we never bother to check this machine. I really don’t like to talk on the phone. And I really don’t like for people to call me at home. Especially him.

In any case, he has also talked to my husband by now, and is wondering if our son is mad at him about the books. He received the thank you card.

My husband tells me he is going to buy him a different birthday present and that he will pay for any penalties we incur for paying our taxes late. The form we need still is not ready.

While I am making dinner, they call him together upstairs, even though I have asked them to be present when my son talks to him. I never know what he will say to him. I feel that I need to protect him.

I also wonder if this blatant disregard for the rules and (my) feelings has any role in addiction.

I always grew up getting my homework in on time, no exceptions. My taxes and bills were paid, on time. No exceptions. In my husband’s family, there always seems to be special rules and exceptions. I’m not sure if this is because they have money or what, but life doesn’t work this way. At least not for most people.

I don’t want my children to grow up this way.

My husband really struggles to be on time everywhere. We have started to go to church again. I get both children ready, dressed and fed, (and me too of course!). Then invariably every week we sit in the car and wait for my husband to finish getting ready for 15 minutes and are 15-20 minutes late to church. He gets in the car very stressed out and angry at ME!

To me this is so inconsiderate, and it’s hard to understand. He often asks, “What time does church start?” Well, the same time it has always started! We have been involved with that church for years, off and on. It has always begun promptly at 10. I don’t think we have ever been on time.

I know he also has ADD, and this plays a factor, but there are just a lot of instances where it seems like there are completely separate circumstances for him and his family as opposed to the rest of the world.

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