Saturday, April 10, 2010

Expressing Sexuality to our Children

I have been thinking a great deal about sexuality and what I hope to express to my children these last few days.

Your sexuality belongs to you. No one else.

No one else owns you or determines your pleasure. That is yours alone. If you wish to share it with someone you love, all the better. Be neither selfish nor selfless. The best pleasure is mutual. But this mutual pleasure does not entitle someone else to control you in any way.

Your sexuality does not belong to anyone; even to God.

It is a gift from God, to be cherished. A gift is given, without strings attached. When you realize the enormity of the gift, you will never squander it.

The worst crime against humanity is to force your sexuality upon someone else. Someone may force themselves upon you, especially as a woman, but you can still reclaim your sexuality for yourself. It is a gift that no one can take from you, even by force.

It is not a matter of how many lovers you have had, but that you enjoy each encounter of your own free will. Your sexuality is no one's business but your own. You are not required to give anyone a report.

When you make a commitment to someone, keep it. If you are clear about the boundaries of your relationship, you will have fewer problems. But all relationships have problems. Don't let someone try to make you guilty for something that was within your right and boundary. Avoid jealous people.

"Even little kids get jealous of their toys and then tire of them." - Elegy

It does not matter when you lose your virginity, but it does matter that you do so thoughtfully and purposefully. Do it when you are ready, when you feel love and security within yourself.

Do not let someone else persuade you. Do not do things that feel unnatural to you. If something feels right, enjoy it. Be careful but not fearful; always protect yourself and others.

Do not let anyone else determine what or who you are. You know who you are, and above all else, God knows who you are. It is s/he who created you, beautifully, perfectly and sexually.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

-Kahlil Gibran on Love

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