Starting and Stopping An Argument

I started to have an argument last night with my husband.

It came out of no where it seemed, but looking back I suppose it had been building.

I've noticed that when I stop responding, the argument stops more quickly than when I try to defend myself. And the anger stops for me, quickly. I can read his texts and listen to his voicemails and realize that they are not about me.

He was angry that I was not more empathetic with him about something. To me, it seemed a ridiculous request.

I really hope that we can continue to be friends and grow our relationship. But at the same time, I am not willing to take abuse from him anymore.

I think the Sermon on Abuse from the Buddha teaches a really valuable lesson. We don't have to take abuse personally. We can hand it right back and becomes the property of the one who gave it.

It has become much easier for me to do this now that I see him less frequently. One reason I did not want to stay married is that I feared we would begin to hate each other. I never wanted to hate the father of my children. There has been a lot of wrongdoing, a lot of it. But if I chose to only focus on that, it will hurt me and it will hurt my children.