Meltdowns

Things are not going well with my ex-husband and our children.

I fear our son is already becoming a co-dependent. He's always eager to please his dad and make him feel better.

My daughter is clearly upset. She is having a lot of meltdowns. 95% of the time she is fine. But something will set her off - usually a control issue - and she will go berserk.

Yesterday was the last day of school. My husband is supposed to pick the kids up from school on Wednesdays but it was a short day, so I did it. My son was disappointed that his dad was not there to do it. He had a years worth of work and projects - and a yearbook - that he was extremely proud of and wanted to show his dad.

I softened the blow by reminding him that his dad was going to take us all out for dinner to celebrate later at one of our favorite family Italian restaurants down the street.

My daughter was clearly excited for the evening too. She got all dressed up in her Easter dress - and even let me do her hair up in pigtails, which she rarely does. She put on her tiara and asked me to paint her fingernails.

I texted my husband a few minutes before he was supposed to arrive to make sure where we were at with time. They kids kept asking when their dad was coming all afternoon.

He texted me back to let me know he was still at least and hour and a half away. The kids were hungry and that was not going to fly.

His comment was that no one was more disappointed than him.

He obviously was not here to see who was disappointed and the effect that had on the kids.

I told my kids we would go to the market and they could pick what they wanted for dinner at home. My daughter had an almost immediate meltdown in the store. I told her she lost her privileges and took away her shopping cart and stickers. She started screaming in the middle of the store.

I just don't want my dad to be a part of our family.

I just don't want to see my dad anymore.

I just don't want my dad to be my dad anymore.

She repeated all of this again and again. When I told him, he accused me of feeding her this.

I am tired of reminding him that his actions cause a lot of pain to our kids and misbehavior is usually the result.