Stability

I think one thing that kept me in my marriage for long is that I have always craved stability. Being the child of divorce, I often didn't feel like I had that. My father is a very stable, caring person - and so were his parents. My mother was both a wonderful mother and an unpredictable one. With age, this has become much better and our relationship now is very good.

I think moving back and forth between my parents homes was very hard on me. I have always just wanted to be settled in one place. I would be very happy to just buy a home and live there for the rest of my life. I don't have a special attachment to this house, but it is all my children have really known.

The other night, one of the men in my church group was talking about his own divorce and the effects on his children. He said the most stressful thing for children after a death of a close family member was actually moving. He gave some interesting examples from his own life.

That reinforced what I have been thinking about this house. I think we will likely have to move soon and I have been preparing myself and the kids for that time. But it seems like things are already so unsettling for them - and me - now that that may really do a number on all of us.

I am glad that I have the summer to spend with them. I really want to work on making them feel safe, loved and secure. My biggest fear about going back to work is that I know my time with them will be much more limited. But I am hoping over the summer we can build back up a strong foundation - and I know my family and people at church will be a great help with that as well.

My ex tries to guilt me about spending time by myself or with friends - but we all need that. I am grateful that both my mother and father help a lot with the kids and provide another source of stability and love.