Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Beach

I am heading to the beach this morning with my kids. My wonderful friends are letting us use their beach house, and I have been looking forward to our time there.

I have been thinking and reading a lot these past few weeks. I opted to completely get rid of the TV, and none of us have missed it. The kids seem to be playing more together and asking for less. I'm very glad I did it. We still have a DVD player, so we watch some movies. That's more than enough.

I have been getting along very well with my husband. I feel like I have been able to look at him with much more compassion lately. I think part of that is just the healing nature of time, which brings perspective. But also, several weeks ago, I broke down to him on the phone. And he told me he was sorry. And for the first time, I really felt it.

I am taking less and less personally and just trying to enjoy him for who he is. More than anything, I appreciate that he is kind, accepting and funny.

We have had our share of problems, but I hope we can put them behind us and be friends. I think sometimes when you are divorcing someone, you tend to demonize them. That helps with your pain. But ultimately, you have to move past that, or it will destroy both of you.

My husband will be joining us at the beach a little later. I'm hoping that this can be a week of healing and fun for all of us. I don't want my children to grow up with parents who are estranged. I want them to feel that we loved each other and tried our very best. I want us to work together to do whatever it takes to grow strong and healthy children. That doesn't mean that we will always get along or agree, but we can do our best. We owe the kids, and ourselves, that.

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