Monday, March 22, 2010

More Thoughts on Children

This is one of my favorite collections of essays by one of my favorite authors. I hadn't read through this specifically about what she says about raising children, but it goes along with my own thoughts on the matter.

"The truest direction comes from inside. I give the most strength to my children by being willing to look within myself, and by being honest with them about what I find there, without expecting a response beyond their years. In this way they begin to learn to look beyond their own fears." (72)

"It is hard for our children to believe that we are not omnipotent as it is for us to know it, as parents. But that knowledge is necessary as the fist step in the reassessment of power as something other than might, age, privilege or the lack of fear. It is an important step for a boy, whose societal destruction begins when he is forced to believe that he can only be strong if he doesn't feel, or if he wins." (76)

"The strongest lesson I can teach my son is the same lesson I teach my daughter: how to be who he wishes to be for himself. And the best way I can do this is to be who I am and hope that he will learn from this not how to be me, which is not possible, but how to be himself. And this means how to move to that voice from within himself, rather than to those raucous, persuasive, or threatening voices from outside, pressuring him to be what the world wants him to be." (77)

- Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde. "Man Child"


  1. Laurie in ColoradoMarch 22, 2010 at 8:33 PM

    I couldn't agree with you more, Sula. I let my kids be who they are as much as possible. Strict discipline stunts their expression and is not good for their emotional development.