Control

Things seem to be moving along fairly well with the divorce. My husband and I have been getting along somewhat better as we begin to separate things out day-by-day. A friend who was divorced fairly recently and has a daughter told me once we finalize things, we will be able to get along better. Now is the tough part.

I am hopeful that will happen.

I have a Parenting Class tonight for 4 hours and mediation Thursday morning.

The issues that I need to practice acceptance on are in protecting my children. I don't know how to do that because I am hyper-sensitive about that. I don't see how I can accept unacceptable circumstances for them. I don't have a lot of peace around that because my husband has not shown behavior that leads me to believe my children are safe around him emotionally or physically.

This morning, he called me to let me know his dad would be joining him when he picked up the kids. He only has them for a 3-hour slot, but I find myself aggitated and worried. My father-in-law is not someone I want my children around. He is a mean and abusive man.

We texted back and forth after a curt phone conversation and I am trying to let it go.

My husband wants the kids to see his dad. I believe that is only because he thinks he will get something financially out of it, which he actually pretty much said over the phone.

The bottom line is I don't have any control over the situation. Unless a judge rules that his dad can not see the kids, my husband can make that choice during his time with the kids.

I told him how I feel about it. I have been telling him for at least 3 years. He does not care what I think about it. He is going to do what he wants to do.

The sad thing is that I was in a fantastic mood this morning - until I spoke to my husband. I let that ruin my mood.

I need to stop doing that, whether it is by not talking to him or just not getting so upset. I still take a lot of things personally.