Taking Care of (my)Self

My recent pain has reminded me of some of the choices I have made these last years regarding self-care.

I want to stress that I get chiropractic care, massage and accupuncture not because I have so much extra money (although that was the case at one time, it certainly isn't now).

I get these treatments because I place such a high premium on my health.

It has been very clear to me how much stress living (or just dealing) with an addict has put on my body.

Things are much better now, but for years I had chronic headaches, back/neck pain, every sort of stomach issue, and was severely underweight (wearing a size 00 at 5'7").

I don't have much money now, but one thing I will not scrimp on is my personal care. I say this because I see so many women put themselves last and say, "I can't afford self-care."

I don't believe this is true.

I have had to re-shuffle my priorities, but I am managing.

I did that by cancelling cable, eating out less, and basically cutting out little by little anything that was not essential. (Self-care is essential!)

I have also been selling things off slowly. I never thought I could (or would) part with many of my possessions, but I feel lighter and happier than I ever have.

What use are diamonds and money to me when I am dead?

I have seen so many women (including my own grandmother) die of cancer after a life-time commitment to an addict.

I firmly believe that leaving the relationship is the only way to save yourself.

And, that we must take care of ourselves before the addict eats what's left of us up.

Because, even if you leave, the addict will always be there to some extent. And the effects on your body will remain if you don't deal with them aggressively.

One last thought, I am sickened to think of all the money wasted on alcohol, drugs, rehabs and recklessness by the addict in my life.

Certainly I am worth a few hundred dollars a month to get the care I need.


"Self-nurturing requires an attitude of feminine valuing. It is enhanced
by the time in which you shift your attention to yourself. If you nurture
yourself, the choices you make in your life will be conscious and
empowered."

—Virginia Beane Rutter, Celebrating Girls