Engaging

The past month in particular has been very difficult with my ex. We have had several major escalations and the police have been to my house several times.

One of the principals of Ramadan is that when you lose your temper or become angry, you invalidate your fast.

Anyone who has ever fasted knows that it is a tough discipline. In Islam, if you invalidate your fast, you have to make that day up later. So the tendency is to not want to invalidate the fast in any way.

If someone tries to start an argument with you while you are fasting, you are only supposed to reply, "I am fasting" as many as 3 times. You must avoid the conflict.

This is a good reminder that is always a choice to engage, and it always within our means to avoid conflict - although it certainly can be very difficult.

If you come back to a disagreement after reflecting on it, you may not be as angry. For instance, if you go back to the argument after the fast is finished for the day, you may not be as upset.

I am glad for this opportunity to re-evaluate how I respond to difficult people and situations.