Aging

I had a thought the other day about dying and our inability to deal with aging.

When we put our elderly away, not only do we deprive them of the life and family they deserve, but we deprive ourselves.

I started to think of the grandparents I have cared for in the last 3 years prior to their death. It has been extremely hard in many ways. But one thing that I realized is that I do not fear death or aging the way that many people do.

I have seen things that I would have never thought I could have dealt with - not only seen them, but taken care of them with love and compassion. There were times when I gagged or felt ill at ease, but for the most part, I saw it as an act of caretaking that I was proud to do. These small acts brought me closer to them, and had I not cared for them, we never would have had many of the moments that we did have.

When we care for our elders, not only do we grow in our relationship and intimacy with them, we see ourselves in them and we learn to accept our own death and our own aging. We see the big picture, and we are all better for it.

I feel very worn. I know these last years have aged me and taken a toll on me. But I would not trade them for anything. Of all the things I have done in my life, this was the best thing, and the most important thing - besides raising my children.