Tuesday, October 6, 2009
One of the dearest loves of my life has passed. My friend called me shortly before and placed the phone to his ear so I could say my last goodbye. Over the last 10+ years, Paul has been the quiet strength in my life.
Every major occasion in my life, whether it be buying my first house, my MBA graduation, breakups, my wedding, the birth of my children, baby showers, my birthdays, my children's birthday's, the various holidays...you name it...Paul has been there, cheering me on.
Few words were ever needed to express our love and friendship. He was a dear and gentle man. When he spoke, his words were measured and educated. He had no pretense. He was very smart, but he never felt the need to be right, or to argue. I never saw him angry. I never saw him mistreat anyone. If I needed advice, or someone to listen, he had some of the best ears around. He never judged anyone, but at the same time he would tell me not to put up with abuse or mistreatment, from anyone.
He lived a simple life and came off as a simple man, but he was much more than he appeared.
Gentleness is highly undervalued in my opinion.
I have never met anyone quite like Paul and I think I will miss him for the rest of my life.
Someday, I hope, boys, like my son, will learn that it is more than your pocketbook and the color of your skin and "what you do for a living" and the particular direction that you are inclined sexually that make you a man.
It is your promises, your word. It is saying you will be there, and being there. It is listening. It is your strength and your gentleness combined - not your force. It is work-ethic and resolve. Not just for the sake of building an empire, but for building a life you can be proud of. It is kindness, integrity and compassion. It is all the things that were my beloved Paul.