“Often men who have
been emotionally neglected and abused as children by dominating mothers bond
with assertive women, only to have their childhood feelings of being engulfed
surface. While they could not 'smash their mommy' and still receive love, they
find that they can engage in intimate violence with partners who respond to
their acting out by trying harder to connect with them emotionally, hoping that
the love offered in the present will heal the wounds of the past. If only one
party in the relationship is working to create love, to create the space of emotional
connection, the dominator model remains in place and the relationship just
becomes a site for continuous power struggle.” ~bell hooks
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