Wednesday, July 3, 2013

You don't recover from something while it is still happening.

I figured out what my problem is with traditional "Recovery" for "co-dependents."

You don't recover from something while it is still happening. 

Asking a "co-dependent" to recover from the habitual abuse inflicted upon them by an addict is unfair.

You are not in recovery or remission from cancer until your cancer is gone. 

Until the abuse stops, there is no way to completely recover.  That would be like pulling someone halfway out of chemo.

Either you have to completely cut yourself off from the abuse (ie the addict) or the addict has to completely change.  Given what I have seen of "sobriety", this seems unlikely, particularly if you are living with an active addict.  Actually, I'd say, recovery from "co-dependency" while living with someone active in their addiction is almost impossible.

While some people may completely change and stop abusing others, most don't.  If you spend a lifetime habitually abusing other people, it may take another lifetime to learn how to stop.

Depending on how dysfunctional the family of the addict is, "Recovery" for a "co-dependent" may be impossible if the addict is still in the picture.

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