Half The Sky

I'm reading Half the Sky. It is a brilliant and important book that I think everyone should read.

I am on an early chapter about keeping girls enslaved as prostitutes by drugging them with meth.

It struck me that my husbands family used this same approach to keep him compliant. I think giving minors drugs or alcohol is the most despicable act I can think of. When money is involved, it is a hard life to get away from.

"Neth and Momm underscore that Many prostitutes are neither acting freely nor enslaved, but living in a world etched by ambiguities somewhere between those two extremes. After her return, Momm was Bound to the brothel by drugs and debts, but the owner let her leave freely with customers, and Momm could have easily escaped if she had wanted to do so." 39

"...so the girls would have to go into debt to the trafficer. That's a classic means of gaining leverage over girls: The debts mount with exorbitant interest rates, and when the girls can't repay the loans, the trafficer sells them to a brothel." p 41

The situations these girls are in are terrible and unimaginable. In any case, reading this book has been empowering to me. I am surprised at how hopeful I feel when I put it down. There are a lot of horrible stories, but overall I feel like this is something we can all tackle.

The big thing that has been coming to my mind is that addiction keeps you centered on yourself. Even if you are the co-dependent, you are centered on the addict and the harm caused to yourself by having them in your life.

The thought that I have is, why aren't we helping people who want to be helped?

I mean really, there are millions of young girls being trapped into slavery around the world. Why not try to help those women who want out of that life?

Adult addicts can step out of their hell anytime they are ready to. But millions of young people do not have such choices.

Instead of spending money on alcohol or things that might enable an addict, why not sponsor a young woman abroad? Many people around the world live for under $2 a day.

So, I am hoping that more of us take back our power by helping those who are truly powerless. I recommend this book to everyone I know. I would highly recommend it to people who have addicts in their lives. Our world is bigger than the small, hellish one we create for ourselves.

www.halftheskymovement.org

The rest of the story...

So, I didn't finish my story...

When my father-in-law sent me the email, my husband sent him a very nice email back. I sent him a curt reply back about how I thought this might be the case after some of our previous dealings so I had made alternative arrangements at the Muslim School.

One of the things I have not mentioned previously is that I am of mixed religions. I was born into a Christian family, and then my first marriage was to a Muslim man. After many years of atheism and giving up on my faith altogether, I converted to Islam several years into our marriage. (More on this later).

But then as time progressed, I felt myself drawn back into the Christian fold, albeit the more liberal one. So, I have made peace with my odd religious "classifications" and have ties to both the Christian and Muslim communities.

In any case, the Muslim school in our city is in my opinion, one of the finer schools. The issue is that there are still so many stereotypes with the Muslim religion and that many people are still scared of it. Especially after 911. Including my father-in-law.

I think he is one of the many people who are uncomfortable with my lack of religious classification. Not that he is particularly religious himself. It would just make him feel a lot better if I were something more "safe" like a Christian, Catholic or Jew.

I get that sentiment a lot.

So I digress....

That was weeks ago, and I did not receive any sort of reply back from my father-in-law, which is fairly typical.

One morning, we both receive another email stating that he just wants to check in about schools, following up on my last email about the Muslim School.

He basically says he is still willing to pay for another Christian School as long as he chooses it.

I tell him, "No thank you."

He responds back that it looks like I have a new iPhone and that we shouldn't forget our other obligations when we have extra money.

This statement is ludicrous to me!

First of all, we don't have any extra money. Second of all, my blackberry, which I need for work, died. I took over my husband's old iPhone, which I happen to hate, so I don't have to buy a new phone.

Lastly, it is really none of his business.

He and my husband have an arrangement. I am not in that arrangement. My husband chose not to work for a year. I have been working my ass off pretty much since I was 8-years-old. I certainly have been working over-time since my son was born 6 years ago. I have been working and taking care of two children, at the expense of his grandchildren and more than anyone else, myself. I have headaches every day, and migraines at least 10 days out of the month. How he can live with that fact, I do not know.

My father-in-law and my husband have a secret arrangement that they will not discuss with me. I am always left out of their private financial details. Whenever I do press, I am always given different information, and it is often conflicting.

I have never asked my father-in-law for a dime, and I certainly have never received any money directly from him.

As far as I know, he would be happy to let me sit out on the street and prostitute myself out.

This is the last communication I have had with my father-in-law for a while now. This is sorta how our relationship goes. You get the gist.

But after thinking about it, my husband and I decided to stick with our decision and send him to OES on our own dime. It will be a stretch for us, but at least it will be in our hands in not up to the whims of my father-in-law.