Mission Accomplished

I spent most of the night gathering my documents and filling in the necessary forms. My dad takes my son on Tuesdays so he went over all the documents with me to make sure I did not miss anything.

I barely slept. I kept thinking of new things I needed to include. I also had a presentation with my son at his school early the next morning. I knew I would have to drop my daughter off at early care, get to my son's school, try to help make his presentation fun, and then finish what I needed to do for court by 11am.

The presentation at my son's school went well and I tried to stay calm as I prepared all the documents at my office and made all the necessary copies. At the last minute, I found a notary who was happy to help me (I was literally walking out the door, late.)

I went down to the courthouse and the time I was supposed to be there and was told that they didn't have time to help me because they were going to close for lunch in 20 minutes. She told me to come back in about an hour. I decided to try to eat something, but I could not.

I went back and stood in line. I was the first one so I was able to see the clerk first. I thought I had all my documentation ready but he seemed perplexed by something. It seems that he thought my expenses were inconsistent with my actual income and that raised a red flag for fraud.

At that point, I lost it. I could not hold the tears back. He asked me if I had documentation of my mortgage, and I did not think I did. I was just about to give up when I remembered that I had pulled a copy of my credit report that morning to show the damage that has been done to my credit history.

While he was away to verify everything, I completely lost it and started bawling right there in the courthouse lobby. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

The clerk was able to use my information and grant me the waiver. He obviously felt bad and gave me some tissues and tried to make me laugh.

I went into the next line to wait. That was somewhat less humiliating, although I was still in the same lobby with all the same people who had just witnessed me sobbing.

The clerk had me help him paper-punch all the documents, told me I was done and wished me good luck.

I think I did everything correctly. It will be interesting what the response from my husband and his attorney will be. Neither know I filed yet. I suppose they think they will have an automatic win tomorrow as planned.

Instead, they will get copies of my response.

This was a humbling day but it did give me strength to know that I can do this. I can fight back even if my husband and his family try to cripple me financially. These are my children. It is my duty and my right to protect them as their mother. It takes some research and perseverence to represent yourself, but I do believe that the truth always wins.

Pathetic

Tonight I am reeling after a day full if reeling.

My husband filed for divorce in June 2009. I was served papers on in late January. We went to court in early February.

I received paperwork from his very expensive attorney (I can not afford representation) late last week. There was a small font portion of the documents that said if I did not respond within 30 days of being served, the case would automatically be won by him.

This was after picking up my daughter for him, as he was unable to do it.

I asked my husband about this and he said I had nothing to worry about. He said he called his attorney and she affirmed that I had already appeared in the case and did not need to do anything further.

Being that my husband has proven to be a habitual liar, I decided to go to the courthouse myself with my own document to respond.

I waited and waited in a second line after security check line. It was hot and I ended up taking my coat off. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. My heart was beating faster and faster and the line seemed to never move.

After about 45-minutes of waiting, I finally got to a clerk and asked if my document would work. Her face fell. She told me no. She looked up my information and saw when I was served and when I was expected to respond and her jaw kept dropping.

She said that I did in fact need to appear or the case would be decided for as my husbands attorney had written it, which includes joint custody of our children. It also includes his delusional attempt of portraying his income, which will determine child support and spousal support. I started crying as I told her my husband is an addict and I could not let that happen.

She gave me the proper forms to file and a waiver form for the $300+ filing fee. I spent the afternoon filling it out and will spend the night collecting all the necessary documents after the children go to sleep to file my response properly tomorrow.

Thank God for intuition. I still have to say it hurts. After all I have suffered with my husband I was still gullible enough to believe him. I was still gullible enough to believe he wanted the best for me and the kids. I was still gullible enough to believe he wanted to work this out amicably.

I should not be surprised that this was the woman that my father-in-law hired however. And it will be a long time before I believe another word that comes out of my husband's mouth.