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The Voice of the Feminine Divine

For I am the first and the last,
I am the honored one and the scorned one,
I am the whore and the holy one,
I am the wife and the virgin (virgin is a wise woman unto herself)...
I am the barren one, and many are her sons...
I am the silence that is incomprehensible...
I am the utterance of my name.

- Gnostic Gospels

Eid Mubarak

Dear Ummahnity: Eid is arriving. As you celebrate, please remember the millions of people whose fast will NOT end tomorrow. | *HornOfAfrica" - Mark Gonzales

AA's Beginnings

"In 1935, when Bill Wilson, cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous, stopped drinking alcohol, he went home to a loyal, dedicated wife, a warm home with enough food, and a circle of people who cared about him. He had a law degree, was an experienced stockbroker, and had all the privileges accorded to an upper-middle-class White man from an old New England family. Most of the men who were instrumental in putting together the AA program and whose experiences were to be recorded in Alc0holics Anonymous, the AA "Big Book," came from similar backgrounds. (3)

Bill Wilson's imagination, determination, and creativity in putting together the twelve-step program that worked for him and many others does not change the fact that he was influenced by white, male, middle-class Christian values of the 1930's. Bill Wilson could not have known about issues that would become central in the ensuing decades - sexism, racism, homophobia, drug abuse, homelessness, and child sexual abuse - that are interwoven in addiction. He could not have known that, fifty years later, (76+ now!) the steps he wrote would be used internationally for men and women struggling with all types of addictions - from narcotics to food, sex, dependent relationships, medication, smoking, gambling, and spending, as well as incest and emotional problems.

It is important to remember that Bill Wilson based the steps and the Big Book on experiences of a hundred white men and one woman. He also based his definition of alcoholic personality - egocentric, arrogant, resentful, controlling or violent - on these people. (5)

-Charlotte Davis Kasl, PhD - Many Roads, One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps

Love Your Body

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her body’s needs.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who embraces her sexuality as her own.
A woman who delights in pleasuring herself.
Who experiences her erotic feelings and sensations without shame or guilt.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and wisdom.
Who no longer uses her life-energy to disguise the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who is glad to be alive.
A woman who has released body-scrutiny and -criticism.
Who celebrates her body with reverence and respect.

- Patricia Lynn Reilly

I am now an Imagine a Woman Certified Facilitator-Coach. Imagineawoman.com

The 12-Step Buddhist: Enhance Recovery from Any Addiction

I am always looking for new takes on The 12-step programs. I saw this man in a schedule of events for a retreat center I am fond of and looked this up on Amazon regarding his book.

Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 step programs are emphatic that they are not aligned with any sect, denomination, or religion. AA is a spiritual program, not a religious program. The 12 step literature is quite clear that we are to use our own concept of a Higher Power, or "God as we understand Him."

Herein lies a problem: the very use of terms such as "God" and "Him" implies a patriarchal, creator God, the archetype of which is the God of Abraham, the God of Muslims, Christians, and Jews. But what of those members in a 12 step program who are atheists, agnostics, or of other beliefs in which there is no "Our Father" or a Creator? Even though the fellowship is fanatically tolerant of religious diversity, most members are white, middle class, middle aged men, who discuss spiritual matters in the terms most familiar to them.

AA has some work-arounds, in which people who do not believe in a deity can use GOD as an acronym, such as Good Orderly Direction, as their Higher Power. However, it is a bit a stretch to pray for improved conscious contact with a Good Orderly Direction. (For those who can do it, our hats are off to them.)

One of the non-theistic spiritual practices of people in recovery is Buddhism. Buddha was not a god, just a man who discovered how to relieve suffering. When asked if he were a god, Buddha replied "No." When asked what he was, then, Buddha said "I am awake." "Buddha" means the one who woke up.

The 12 Step Buddhist is a guide for integrating and using Buddhist practice in a 12 step program. This book does not explain the steps -- the reader is referred to the Big Book and other approved literature for that. This book is for Buddhists, or others who are non-theistic, who are also addicts in recovery, and want to work a serious spiritual program.

Littlejohn pulls no punches. He is blunt, practical, and hard-core. For those in a program: he is one of us. The author notes that most Buddhist teachers do not know how to handle addicts or alcoholics (for those who make the distinction). Littlejohn has been there, and knows what it's like to bottom out, and also to go back out and return.

The reader may not agree with the approach in The 12 Step Buddhist. No problem. As both AA and the Buddha say, if you think something else will work better for you, please go try it. If it doesn't work, you are welcome back. Take what you need and leave the rest behind.


Other Buddhist 12-Step Books:
- 12 Steps on Buddha's Path: Bill, Buddha, and We by Laura S.
- One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the Twelve Steps by Kevin Edward Griffin
- Enough!: A Buddhist Approach to Finding Release from Addictive Patterns by Chonyi Taylor

All that you have is your soul

Here I am, I'm waiting for a better day
A second chance
A little luck to come my way
A hope to dream, a hope that I can sleep again
...And wake in the world with a clear conscience and clean hands
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
'Cause all that you have is your soul.

- Tracy Chapman

Challenging Codependency

Co-dependency is defined in various ways; essentially it refers to a person's overfocus on the behaviour and feelings of others. It began with, but is not confined to people involved with practising alcoholics. The authors assembled by Marguerite Babcock and Christine McKay in Challenging Codependency argue that the label is harmful to women, and what it really describes, but does not address in any politically effective way, is the social, economic and political oppression of women. In the essay "Codependency and the Myth of Recovery: A Feminist Scrutiny," Kay Hagan sums up the anthology's central point: codependency "is a euphemism for the practice of dominance and subordination" and the concept locates the origin of personal problems in individual experience rather than in social relations. In other words, power-over attitudes of gender, class, sexuality and race make people sick. That our symptoms are then decontextualized makes us crazy.

This anthology examines codependency's focus "on women's alleged pathology rather than on the dynamics of sexism." The more ludicrous ideas about addiction and dependency are exposed in this collection of reprinted articles, such as the belief that alcoholism would dwindle away were it not for enablers. That women have been sold a bill of goods is the message of this work, which argues convincingly that the social construction of codependency as a disease "has provided a virtually endless supply of new clients for the substance abuse industry."

COPYRIGHT 1996 Herizons Magazine, Inc.

Truth

"The truth, said an ancient Chinese master, is neither like this nor like that. It is like a dog yearning over a bowl of burning oil. He can't leave it, because it is too desirable, and he can't lick it, because it is too hot."

-Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart p 152

When We Leave (Die Fremde) - Trailer with English Subtitles

An unforgettable and heartbreaking movie. One of the most searing depictions of patriarchy I have ever seen.

Pink Floyd - Song for Palestine

Kundalini and Sexual Energy for Women

"...when a woman integrates her sexuality with knowledge of herself, when it is a source of energy, it becomes a force in the expansion of her love and power. When a woman ceases to use sex as a bribe, escape, or weapon of power, it can become one with her Source, her spirituality. Kundalini yoga regards the body as a microcosm of the universe: when one is alive and at one within the body, one is likewise at one wiht the universe, with pure consciousness. Kundalini stands for female sexual energy, represented by a coiled serpent in the form of a flower resting at the base of the spine. When the serpent uncoils, energy rises through the body, awakening purse knowledge and a state of bliss, and sexual energy is transfomed to cosmic consciousness."

-Charlotte Davis Kasl, Women, Sex and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power. 78-79

“What you're living is an indicator of your vibrational offering.”

-Abraham Hicks

Author Your Own Life

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who trusts her inner sense of what’s right for her.
Who takes responsibility for the design and content of her life.

Imagine a woman who is interested in her own life.
A woman whose life is her teacher, healer, and challenge.
Who is grateful for the ordinary moments of beauty and grace.

Imagine a woman who balances her life.
A woman who trusts her impulses to move inward and outward.
Who makes choices to support balance and harmony.

Imagine a woman who participates in her own life.
A woman who meets each challenge with creativity.
Who takes action on her own behalf with clarity and courage.

Imagine a woman who is glad to be alive.
A woman who has released chronic self-criticism.
Who celebrates her life with gratitude and appreciation.
- Patricia Lynn Reilly


I am now an Imagine a Woman Certified Coach-Facilitator. Imagineawoman.com

Addiction

"...nearly all people are prone to addictive behavior and spirituality is the only cure for addiction."

-Charlotte Davis Kasl, Women, Sex and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power. (xiii)

"Close some doors today. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they lead you nowhere" - Paulo Coelho

Gay and Muslim - Possible?

"For anyone who’s an LGBTQ Muslim, I want them to understand the Quran’s promise is for all of humankind for all of human time. Our society was very different 1,500 years ago. Human conditions remain the same, but the way we approach them now is different. Either you follow the rituals of dead people, or you live the Quran for today."

Daayiee Abdullah

http://dailycaller.com/2011/07/28/gay-and-muslim-%E2%80%94-is-that-even-possible-one-imam-says-%E2%80%98yes%E2%80%99/

I Love my Country

My country:
goats on the Ankara plain:
the sheen of blond, silky, long furs.
The fat plump hazelnuts of Giresun.
The fragrant red-cheeked apples of Amasya,
...olive
fig
melon
and of all colours
bunches and bunches of grapes
and then the plough
and then the black ox
and then: ready to accept
everything
advanced, beautiful and good
with the joyous admiration of a child
my hard-working, honest, brave people
half hungry, half full
half slave…

From Nazim Hikmet's stirring poem "I Love My Country"
Translated from the Turkish by Fuat Engin

Cleaning Out

I have been sick over 2 weeks. It's been a long and boring stretch.

I have my first day of half energy today. I'm realizing I still have a lot of junk to clean out. I did some of it little by little while I was sick. Old relationships that lacked closure and tidying up. It seemed like in the past, I always had many doors open in case the relationship did not work out. In the last week, I have talked to 3 exes from various parts of my life that were always sort of hanging on in one way or another. It feels good to close the door and still have the friendship and good feelings there. I feel we can all go where we need to go now without confusion or bad feelings.

I am trying to minimalize as much as possible. It seems like I have been throwing stuff out of my house for 3 years. I'm taking what I hope is the final sweep through before listing the house for sale. Basically, I am OK with selling anything and everything now. I was more attached to certain items before because I had put so much time and care into picking each item out. But now I am seeing that kept me from really living my life. I was so obsessed with everything looking just right - it was only a distraction with how messy my life was on the inside.

I remember a friend of mine sold everything he owned a few years ago and started completely over. He kept a bed, a chair and a few books. It was startling to go to his new flat with nothing there. But it was quite freeing for him, and I have watched him really evolve in the years since.

It seems I am always in a hurry to have everything change, but nothing became this way overnight. I feel that these last years have been an unraveling of all I covered my true self up with - mostly material, petty things. The more I let go of, the better I feel.

Forgiveness

I love this passage from the Koran because it says what I have always thought about forgiveness. One of the thing that irritated me about Christianity was that I felt like many people abused forgiveness.

I think this verse applies to people as well. Why forgive someone over and over for the same thing?

“Forgiveness is only incumbent on Allah toward those who do evil in ignorance (and) then turn quickly (in repentance) to Allah. These are they toward whom Allah relenteth. Allah is ever Knower, Wise.

The forgiveness is not for those who do ill deeds until, when death attendeth upon one of them, he saith: Lo! I repent now, nor yet for those who die while they are disbelievers. For such we have prepared a painful doom.”

Surah IV women 17-18