The prevention of substance abuse needs to begin in the crib

“The prevention of substance abuse needs to begin in the crib—and even before then, in the social recognition that nothing is more important for the future of our culture than the way children develop. There has to be much more support for pregnant women. Early prenatal visits should be an opportunity not only for blood tests, physical exams, and nutritional advice but also for stress inventory in the woman’s life. All possible resources should be mobilized to help her experience a pregnancy that s emotionally, physically, and economically as stress free as possible. Employers and governments need to appreciate the crucial importance of these gestational months to the infant’s developmental well-being and, even more so, the crucial importance of the first months following birth and the first years. From any point of view—psychological, cultural, or economic—that is the most cost-effective approach. Children who are emotionally well nurtured and brought up in stable communities do not need to become addicts.” –Gabor Mate, MD, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

What is Addiction?

“What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood.” – Alice Miller, Breaking Down the Wall of Silence

“If our society were truly to appreciate the significance of children’s emotional ties throughout the first years of life, it would no longer tolerate children growing up, or parents having to struggle, in situations that cannot possibly nourish healthy growth.” – Stanley Greenspan, MD

Their Brains Never Had a Chance.

“We know that the majority of chronically hard-core substance-dependent adults lived, as infants and children, under conditions of severe adversity that left an indelible stamp on their development. Their predisposition to addiction was programmed in their early years. Their brains never had a chance.” –Gabor Mate, MD, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous

"Its faith-based 12-step program dominates treatment in the United States. But researchers have debunked central tenets of AA doctrine and found dozens of other treatments more effective." - Gabrielle Glaser


Read it here.

“Addiction is always an attempt to soothe severe emotional suffering which is often rooted in childhood emotional loss or trauma.” - Gabor Mate

Psychic Numbing

“Psychic numbing means never having to feel anything. Refusing such anesthetization and unearthing our passions means facing our emotions, especially those that have been the most anathematized, such as rage, female pride, and self-love. In short, it entails embracing monsters. Lesbian novelist Bertha Harris tells it truly: Monsters express what ordinary people cannot: feel. Monsters are emblems of feeling in patriarchy. Monsters represent the quintessence of all that is female, and female enraged. The monster most emblematic of feeling, most communicative of female rage, is the Gorgon. Many people, consumed by fear, simply cannot meet her gaze. Others, steeped in greed, ignorance, fear, and self-loathing, quite frankly want to lose their senses. Rather than look into the Gorgon's all-seeing eye, they turn themselves to stone - that is, they become psychically numb. Yet those of us who are sick of pretending, denying, suppressing, and repressing our knowledge, our emotions, and our powers journey to her island of rock and stone and there face a laughing, welcoming, and gorgeous Gorgon. As we do, we turn not to stone, but to sentient flesh, sensual mind, and boiling blood.” - Jane Caputi; Gossips, Gorgons and Crones

Her Best Kept Secret: A MUST-READ for ALL Women!

In Her Best-Kept Secret, journalist Gabrielle Glaser uncovers a hidden-in-plain-sight drinking epidemic. Using “investigative rigor and thoughtful analysis” (The Boston Globe), Glaser is the first to document that American women are drinking more often than ever and in ever-larger quantities in this “substantial book, interested in hard facts and nuance rather than hand-wringing” (The New York Times Book Review). She shows that contrary to the impression offered on reality TV, young women alone aren’t driving these statistics—their moms and grandmothers are, too. But Glaser doesn’t wag a finger. Instead, in a funny and tender voice, Glaser looks at the roots of the problem, explores the strange history of women and alcohol in America, drills into the emerging and counterintuitive science about that relationship, and asks: Are women getting the help they need? Is it possible to return from beyond the sipping point and develop a healthy relationship with the bottle?

Glaser reveals that, for many women, joining Alcoholics Anonymous is not the answer—it is part of the problem. She shows that as scientists and health professionals learn more about women’s particular reactions to alcohol, they are coming up with new and more effective approaches to excessive drinking. In that sense, Glaser offers modern solutions to a very modern problem.

Dr. Gabor Maté on the Stress-Disease Connection, Addiction and the Destruction of American Childhood

This is an exceptional interview that took place on Democracy now a few years ago.


"If people’s behaviors and dysfunctions are regulated, controlled and determined by genes, we don’t have to look at child welfare policies, we don’t have to look at the kind of support that we give to pregnant women, we don’t have to look at the kind of non-support that we give to families, so that, you know, most children in North America now have to be away from their parents from an early age on because of economic considerations. And especially in the States, because of the welfare laws, women are forced to go find low-paying jobs far away from home, often single women, and not see their kids for most of the day. Under those conditions, kids’ brains don’t develop the way they need to.


And so, if it’s all caused by genetics, we don’t have to look at those social policies; we don’t have to look at our politics that disadvantage certain minority groups, so cause them more stress, cause them more pain, in other words, more predisposition for addictions; we don’t have to look at economic inequalities. If it’s all genes, it’s all — we’re all innocent, and society doesn’t have to take a hard look at its own attitudes and policies." -Dr. Gabor Maté


Watch the interview here.

The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think

"If you had asked me what causes drug addiction at the start, I would have looked at you as if you were an idiot, and said: "Drugs. Duh." It's not difficult to grasp. I thought I had seen it in my own life. We can all explain it. Imagine if you and I and the next twenty people to pass us on the street take a really potent drug for twenty days. There are strong chemical hooks in these drugs, so if we stopped on day twenty-one, our bodies would need the chemical. We would have a ferocious craving. We would be addicted. That's what addiction means.

One of the ways this theory was first established is through rat experiments -- ones that were injected into the American psyche in the 1980s, in a famous advert by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. You may remember it. The experiment is simple. Put a rat in a cage, alone, with two water bottles. One is just water. The other is water laced with heroin or cocaine. Almost every time you run this experiment, the rat will become obsessed with the drugged water, and keep coming back for more and more, until it kills itself.

The advert explains: "Only one drug is so addictive, nine out of ten laboratory rats will use it. And use it. And use it. Until dead. It's called cocaine. And it can do the same thing to you."

But in the 1970s, a professor of Psychology in Vancouver called Bruce Alexander noticed something odd about this experiment. The rat is put in the cage all alone. It has nothing to do but take the drugs. What would happen, he wondered, if we tried this differently? So Professor Alexander built Rat Park. It is a lush cage where the rats would have colored balls and the best rat-food and tunnels to scamper down and plenty of friends: everything a rat about town could want. What, Alexander wanted to know, will happen then?

In Rat Park, all the rats obviously tried both water bottles, because they didn't know what was in them. But what happened next was startling.

The rats with good lives didn't like the drugged water. They mostly shunned it, consuming less than a quarter of the drugs the isolated rats used. None of them died. While all the rats who were alone and unhappy became heavy users, none of the rats who had a happy environment did.

At first, I thought this was merely a quirk of rats, until I discovered that there was -- at the same time as the Rat Park experiment -- a helpful human equivalent taking place. It was called the Vietnam War. Time magazine reported using heroin was "as common as chewing gum" among U.S. soldiers, and there is solid evidence to back this up: some 20 percent of U.S. soldiers had become addicted to heroin there, according to a study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry. Many people were understandably terrified; they believed a huge number of addicts were about to head home when the war ended.

But in fact some 95 percent of the addicted soldiers -- according to the same study -- simply stopped. Very few had rehab. They shifted from a terrifying cage back to a pleasant one, so didn't want the drug any more.

Professor Alexander argues this discovery is a profound challenge both to the right-wing view that addiction is a moral failing caused by too much hedonistic partying, and the liberal view that addiction is a disease taking place in a chemically hijacked brain. In fact, he argues, addiction is an adaptation. It's not you. It's your cage.

After the first phase of Rat Park, Professor Alexander then took this test further. He reran the early experiments, where the rats were left alone, and became compulsive users of the drug. He let them use for fifty-seven days -- if anything can hook you, it's that. Then he took them out of isolation, and placed them in Rat Park. He wanted to know, if you fall into that state of addiction, is your brain hijacked, so you can't recover? Do the drugs take you over? What happened is -- again -- striking. The rats seemed to have a few twitches of withdrawal, but they soon stopped their heavy use, and went back to having a normal life. The good cage saved them. (The full references to all the studies I am discussing are in the book.)

When I first learned about this, I was puzzled. How can this be? This new theory is such a radical assault on what we have been told that it felt like it could not be true. But the more scientists I interviewed, and the more I looked at their studies, the more I discovered things that don't seem to make sense -- unless you take account of this new approach.

Here's one example of an experiment that is happening all around you, and may well happen to you one day. If you get run over today and you break your hip, you will probably be given diamorphine, the medical name for heroin. In the hospital around you, there will be plenty of people also given heroin for long periods, for pain relief. The heroin you will get from the doctor will have a much higher purity and potency than the heroin being used by street-addicts, who have to buy from criminals who adulterate it. So if the old theory of addiction is right -- it's the drugs that cause it; they make your body need them -- then it's obvious what should happen. Loads of people should leave the hospital and try to score smack on the streets to meet their habit.

But here's the strange thing: It virtually never happens. As the Canadian doctor Gabor Mate was the first to explain to me, medical users just stop, despite months of use. The same drug, used for the same length of time, turns street-users into desperate addicts and leaves medical patients unaffected.

If you still believe -- as I used to -- that addiction is caused by chemical hooks, this makes no sense. But if you believe Bruce Alexander's theory, the picture falls into place. The street-addict is like the rats in the first cage, isolated, alone, with only one source of solace to turn to. The medical patient is like the rats in the second cage. She is going home to a life where she is surrounded by the people she loves. The drug is the same, but the environment is different.

This gives us an insight that goes much deeper than the need to understand addicts. Professor Peter Cohen argues that human beings have a deep need to bond and form connections. It's how we get our satisfaction. If we can't connect with each other, we will connect with anything we can find -- the whirr of a roulette wheel or the prick of a syringe. He says we should stop talking about 'addiction' altogether, and instead call it 'bonding.' A heroin addict has bonded with heroin because she couldn't bond as fully with anything else.

So the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is human connection."


Read the full article by Johann Hari on Huffingtonpost.com

With Sobering Science, Doctor Debunks 12-Step Recovery

"There is a large body of evidence now looking at AA success rate, and the success rate of AA is between 5 and 10 percent. Most people don't seem to know that because it's not widely publicized. ... There are some studies that have claimed to show scientifically that AA is useful. These studies are riddled with scientific errors and they say no more than what we knew to begin with, which is that AA has probably the worst success rate in all of medicine.

It's not only that AA has a 5 to 10 percent success rate; if it was successful and was neutral the rest of the time, we'd say OK. But it's harmful to the 90 percent who don't do well. And it's harmful for several important reasons. One of them is that everyone believes that AA is the right treatment. AA is never wrong, according to AA. If you fail in AA, it's you that's failed.

The reason that the 5 to 10 percent do well in AA actually doesn't have to do with the 12 steps themselves; it has to do with the camaraderie. It's a supportive organization with people who are on the whole kind to you, and it gives you a structure. Some people can make a lot of use of that. And to its credit, AA describes itself as a brotherhood rather than a treatment." -Dr. Lance Dodes

Listen to the interview on NPR.

Drug Addicted Parents and the Effects on Their Children

Children born to drug addicted parents may suffer from health conditions.

Parents who are addicted to illegal substances are at risk for severing a relationship --- as well as guardianship --- with their children. Parental drug addiction is a form of child abuse, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. When parents have drug addictions, they are no longer deemed responsible caretakers, as they often expose their kids to situations involving neglect. Exposure to certain chemical substances can also have a negative impact on a child's physical and mental health

Emotional Impact

Children born of drug addicted parents are at risk for developing emotional disturbances, such as depression or anxiety disorders. When children grow up in a home that is unstable, or where they witness their parents behaving inappropriately due to the influence of drugs, it can scar a child and cause permanent emotional damage. This is especially the case if Child Protective Services gets involved and has to remove a child from his or her home. 

Displacement Impact

Child Protective Services will remove a child who resides with drug addicted parents for fear of child abuse or neglect. Displaced children are temporarily housed with foster parents while biological parents are given the opportunity to get treatment to become sober. Sometimes, children are returned to their biological parents after a temporary removal, and sometimes not. Children can spend years in the foster system, moving from one foster home to another. The effect this has on children can be detrimental and cause emotional trauma. Not only do these children often feel they have no stability in their home life, but they also become at risk for manifesting aggressive behavior as a result of their frustration.

Educational Impact

Children of addicted parents may have more trouble in school than children who are not born of drug addicted parents. Indirect drug exposure can have lingering effects on a youth's ability to learn effectively. Learning disabilities may surface as a result of the exposure. Additionally, children may develop mental health problems that cause them to lose interest in their education and drop out of school.

Substance Abuse Impact

Alcoholism and other drug addictions can be passed down from a parent to a child. Children who grow up with drug addicted parents may experience a learned behavior that, in turn, causes them to start using drugs. This unhealthy cycle can continue until someone intervenes or the family receives professional treatment.

Read more : http://www.ehow.com/info_7942910_drug-addicted-parents-effects-children.html

DECLARATION OF RIGHTS FOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN

Women and children have suffered severe violations of their human and civil rights within the family for millennia and hereby demand long-overdue protection of these inalienable rights:

1. Women and Children demand the right to be free of discrimination and oppression in the family.

2. Women and Children demand the right to stay together and stay safe.

3. Women demand the right to primary custody when they are the children's primary bond.

4. Children demand the right to live with their primary bond and not be treated as property, leverage or commodities.

5. Women and Children demand the right to a jury trial when custody is contested.

6. Women and Children demand the right to be free from abuse, violence and sexual assault in the family.

7. Women and Children demand the right to the presumption of credibility when they report abuse, violence or sexual assault in the family.

8. Women and Children demand the right to thorough criminal investigations and adjudications of abuse, violence or sexual assault in the family.

9. Women and Children demand the right to be free of intimidation, retaliation or coercive persuasion after reporting abuse, violence, or sexual assault in the family.

10. Women and Children demand the right to speak out freely and publicly if any of the aforementioned rights are violated.

More info and to join International Organization for Women and Children: http://www.rightsforwomenandchildren.org/

The 13th Step the film

The 13th Step is about the criminal and sexually predatory behavior that occurs systematically in Alcoholics Anonymous. This behavior goes unchecked by A.A.'s world headquarters, despite repeated warning from respected board members and longtime members. This behavior is exacerbated by the systematic sentencing of criminals and sex offenders to AA meetings without the knowledge of the other AA members.

Financial Abuse Takes Heavy Toll On Domestic Violence Survivors

"In the past, domestic violence victims would leave with nothing but their children and the clothes on their back," the note concluded. 'Now they leave with crushing debt."

Read this important article here.

Maternal Deprivation: Share from "Battered Mothers - A Human Rights Issue"

 Maternal Deprivation, or Motherlessness, is occurring with alarming frequency due to the unethical treatment of women and children in family court.

 

Maternal Deprivation is inflicting abuse by severing the mother-child bond. It is a form of abuse that men inflict on both the mother and children, especially men who claim they are “parentally alienated” from their children when there are complaints of abusive treatment by the father.

 

Maternal Deprivation occurs when men seek to keep their children from being raised by their mothers who are the children’s natural caretakers. Some men murder the mothers of their own children. Others seek to sever the maternal bonds by making false allegations of fictitious psychological syndromes in a deliberate effort to change custody and/or keep the child from having contact with their mother when there are legal proceedings. A twisted form of Maternal Deprivation is to kill the children, so that the mother will be left to suffer. Sometimes there are family annihilation murders where the father kills the children and himself (or dies by cop), but the mother is not killed because she has received protective orders and her children have not as in the case ofJessica Gonzales.

 

In seeking to define this form of abuse certain common elements are found in the Maternal Deprivation scenario as follows:

• History of domestic abuse that could be physical, psychological, sexual, and/or social abuse occurring on or off again, occasionally, or chronically which could be mild, moderate, or severe, including homicidal and/or suicidal threats.
• Legal proceedings relating to abuse
• Hiring of “Fathers Rights” attorney
• Use of “Hired Gun” mental health professionals to make accusations of psychological disorder against the mother and children in deliberate effort to excuse abuse and change custody or grant visitation that is contrary to safety concerns. Another name for these unethical professionals are “Whores of the Courts“
• Raising claims of “psychological disorders” against the mother such as “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS), Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, Malicious Mother Syndrome, Lying Litigant Syndrome, Hostile Aggressive Parenting or any other mother-blaming psychological disorder that can be used by the unethical professional to re-victimize the victims.
• Infliction of “Legal Abuse” by continually and excessively filing motions so that the mother continually has to defend herself and her child(ren) causing financial and emotional devastation.
• Can occur in response to child support legal proceedings as retaliation.

 

The intent of “Maternal Deprivation” is to punish the mother and the child for revealing the abuse and to falsely claim that they are not abusive. This very commonly occurs as there are more and more “abuse-excuse” parental alienation accusing professionals who use this scientifically invalid theory over and over to achieve specific goals of the person paying them. Maternal Deprivation can also occur in response to child support legal proceedings. When occurring in this manner, Maternal Deprivation is a response to the financial demands as retaliation. Suddenly the father who had little prior involvement wants to take the kids half the time to avoid child support obligations, etc. When the men are really abusive, they ask for sole custody and demand the mother of the child pay them.

 

Although some people call this “Maternal Alienation”, a distinction needs to be made as the pro-pedophilia “Parental Alienation Syndrome” and the use of the word “Alienation” are most often used AGAINST battered women and abused children. There needs to be a distinction between the phony psychological syndrome and the intentional infliction of abuse on a mother and child by intentionally severing their natural bond. This distinction can best be made by NOT using the label of “Alienation” which will always be associated with the pro-pedophilia monster Doctor Richard Gardner.

 

Some of the characteristics of the especially heinous abusers who inflict Maternal Deprivation include but are not limited to the following:

• Angry
• Abusive
• Violent
• Coercive
• Controlling
• Threatening
• Intimidating
• Demanding
• Domineering
• Harassing
• Stalking
• Tyrannical
• Oppressive
• Forceful
• Manipulative
• Deceptive
• Unethical
• Un-empathetic (Lacks Empathy)
• Entitled
• Immature
• Self-centered
• Neglectful
• Guilt inducing
• Pushy
• Intentionally tries to humiliate mother and/or child
• Harsh, rigid and punitive parenting style
• Outrage at child’s challenge of authority
• May use force to reassert parental position
• Dismissive of child’s feelings and negative attitudes
• Vents rage, blames mother for “brainwashing” child and takes no responsibility
• Challenges child’s beliefs and/or attitudes and tries to convince them otherwise
• Inept and unempathic pursuit of child, pushes calls and letters, unannounced or embarrassing visits. There is a distinct overlap of the intimate terrorist type domestic violence abuser with the Maternal Deprivation abusers as follows:
• Coercion and threats
• Intimidation
• Emotional abuse
• Isolation
• Minimizing, denying and blaming (Hallmarks of PAS)
• Using children
• Economic abuse
• Male privilege

The people who most often engage in Maternal Deprivation Abuse are most often: Abusive men, Vindictive second wives who don’t want to deal with the real mother of the children, Paternal grandparents who raised dysfunctional children (abusers)

  

The effects of Maternal Deprivation often cause the children to become psychotic, depressed, and sometimes suicidal or to have suicidal ideations.

 

Sometimes these children will also abuse the mother in the same manner as the father. Another generation is created to carry on the abuse, and will likely do the same to their own spouse and children.

 

Read the entire article here, and find links to additional articles on this issue.

Gaslighting

"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." - Alice Walker

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” – The Dalai Lama

Honesty with Emotional Manipulators