tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7616243496806883218.post377993455286029835..comments2023-10-14T00:43:30.752-07:00Comments on Hearts Aren't Made of Glass: A Journey Towards Recovery: Does Al-Anon work for Everyone?Tristahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06308388473864912872noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7616243496806883218.post-39435796350303000732010-01-20T09:32:47.165-08:002010-01-20T09:32:47.165-08:00Thank you all for the comments - very interesting....Thank you all for the comments - very interesting. And welcome Brian!Tristahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308388473864912872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7616243496806883218.post-83634372422728782772010-01-19T12:41:24.983-08:002010-01-19T12:41:24.983-08:00Hi. New reader here. Stumbled across your blog w...Hi. New reader here. Stumbled across your blog while doing a search on blogs about Al Anon. My search pointed me to this post even though it is what, 10 days old today? Still fresh, really.<br /><br />After reading your post, I have so much to comment on it is all backed up in my head. I also read your history over in the right column and see that you're been through so very much and yet here you are, still trying, still making things work. <br /><br />I want to take some time, re-read your post, maybe read some of your older ones too, and comment on your questions about Al Anon. The folks who commented earlier all make very valid points. I would probably be adding to what they've already said.<br /><br />Two things I can add now. First, it will be very interesting learning about the Muslim approach and life style as it applies to dealing with addicts and the spirituality of the Al Anon program. I wrestle with the spirituality aspect from the other side - coming from a more agnostic approach.<br /><br />Second - regarding your father-in-law. Seems to be that he is quite the control freak that has no respect for other peoples boundaries. While your not talking to him is certainly one way of declaring your own boundaries, is he clear as to WHY you (appropriately) refuse to talk with him? Knowing why you've closed him off might (maybe) help him work on himself a bit. Also? He sounds more like he's 'dry', not sober. Plenty of issues with that one.<br /><br />I wish you peace,<br />Brian<br /><br />http://bikinfool.wordpress.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7616243496806883218.post-87374462535184412922010-01-11T19:20:13.628-08:002010-01-11T19:20:13.628-08:00Sula, I think that before going to Al-Anon I felt ...Sula, I think that before going to Al-Anon I felt a lot of shame about living with an alcoholic. I tried to keep things hidden. It feels good to be among those who have the same problem and have been affected by alcoholism. <br /><br />This is a program that isn't a cure all. It works if I take it seriously. I look on this as a spiritual program and not a religious one. There may be lots of ways to get help for co-dependent behavior but this is the only one that worked for me. I tried therapy and never understood why I was so angry. Now I understand so much more than I ever did.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7616243496806883218.post-74128273769541620092010-01-11T13:30:13.306-08:002010-01-11T13:30:13.306-08:00Al-Anon has taught me to detach from unhealthy peo...Al-Anon has taught me to detach from unhealthy people, places and things. It's taught me to turn my gaze away from them, and build a life of my own. When unhealthy, addicted people are stuck in a bad place, my obsession with their stuck-ness won't help them. And it certainly won't help me. That sounds like a different Al-Anon than you're describing. 'Keep the focus on me' is not the same as 'blame myself'. For me it means eat right, exercise, sleep, love, live, and build my own life full of fun and joy.Garnethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11734142123169684500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7616243496806883218.post-7322295757187721152010-01-10T03:40:16.239-08:002010-01-10T03:40:16.239-08:00I found your post VERY interesting. As a Christian...I found your post VERY interesting. As a Christian. I honestly don't see the program of Alanon as "Christian" and think there's an emphasis on higher power of your choice. However, you are right. It does seem that a disproportionate number of people who go to Alanon and AA are Christians and have a drinking problem. How odd is that? We are told that 'addiction' is a chemical reaction, a disease. I've never heard anyone ask why Muslims don't have the same genetic issue. Hmmm. Interesting. As for sharing responsibility, I have only heard that people who enable the addiction to continue share responsbility. I believe that because I've seen that. Other than that, these addicts own the whole mess. I'm totally with you on looking to people in healthy situations for answers. However, I also think that not every healthy or unhealthy person understands what addiction does to people. Sometimes people who've been up close and personal totally get it and give advice that sounds right to me. "If you work it" is just a simple way of saying 'do it'. I've never correlated that with faith healers - like the time years ago when someone told me to leave the building because now after their prayer I would not be allergic to cats. You have an interesting perspective on Alanon. Faith healers would be indicating that you don't have to do anything else, you're good to go. Alanon has steps. I'm glad I read your post. You brought up some very good points. There are a lot of people off kilter in this world, I don't lump them all together and generalize. Crazy Alanoners, crazy Christians, crazy blonds, rich, poor... I hope you find something that brings you peace. I think the key might be in the last paragraph on your side bar. I hope your husband gets rid of his enablers. Take care of you.Anonymous :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14866852475568786172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7616243496806883218.post-19098116509530406282010-01-09T19:34:31.109-08:002010-01-09T19:34:31.109-08:00I agree with you on al-anon and the bizarre respon...I agree with you on al-anon and the bizarre responsibility that is often put on the "co-dependent." Granted, behaviors are created and adapted as the spouse adjusts to living in hell. Like you, I do not see the responsibility as a common denominator or in any way, something that holds equal weight.<br /><br />As for religion, one of the most beautiful things I have discovered about getting older is learning about different traditions with an open mind and seeing the beauty in different religious faiths. It's very sad to see people think they have to cling to just one to find salvation. To me this defeats the essence of individual faith.Aprilnoreply@blogger.com